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| pain and parenting
by xhelha at 5/25/2008 2:26:54 PM
it's been a month since the accident. the rage and sadness that permeates the whole family now is finally eating away at me. No sleep, ten pounds lighter probably from crying so much. Is there any decision that can be easy? Is there any light in this time of darkness? Is it control or concern? Love and hate at the same time. Anger bubbling up from my soul, in desperate need of building a bridge to the other side! Is there a way? I cry, I scream, I stare, I have no connection to me, my pain is me. my anger is me, my sadness is me. My fear is me.I am everything and nothing at the same time. As i breathe that is all that reminds me that i am alive, here, now. Emotion has strangled me in a way that you see in art, music, and death row. that line is fine and which side is the right side no one knows but you. Fear of saying yes, fear of saying no, fear of yourself, fear of your other children as they bare the trauma that consumes their sibling. Pain and parenting.
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