This is personal to me - Proceed with Caution

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This is personal to me - Proceed with Caution
by lordohs at 6/12/2008 1:42:20 AM

Is there anything a person can do to salvage a relationship if they have been unfaithful? Can the victim forgive? Is it always a deal breaker? Is there redemption? What if it was more than once? How do you process through? I want all angles whether you have been the offender or the offended. Invite your friends.

Comments
heyppl	6/15/2008 7:34:48 PM i believe that a person can forgive but never forget. If you work through this in a relationship it could make you stronger.Notice I said could.
swankyone	6/17/2008 12:27:43 AM This ones deep, Sam! In my world, yes, a person can salvage a relationship if they have been unfaithful by being honest to their partner and communicating even if they cannot answer some of the "Why's?" they will hear from the victim. Yes, the victim can forgive and more than once...been there-done that!
swankyone	6/17/2008 12:28:25 AM First, you process through by taking an honest accessment of the relationship (pro's vs. con's). Both the victim and the unfaithful mate have to forgive themselves and then reconcile within themselves to truly forgive the other person. That means, after the two have made a decision that what they have together is worth salvaging, they must allow the incident(s) to become a part of the past. No more 'rubbing it in, bringing it back to the other's rememberance, or witholding one's self for fear of more of the same. A consorted effort must be given to continue on.
swankyone	6/17/2008 12:28:49 AM Let's face it, as humans we err. I've been on both sides and whether you're the giver or the taker, it hurts. Its painful to admit to someone you really love and value that you've failed them (and yourself for that matter) by compromising your relationship for a few moments of infatuated bliss. Likewise, the deepest pain is felt when faced with hearing your significant other admit or even lie about an affair. The couple will have to revert back to the same manner in which they gave their trust when the relationship started and give it all over again.
oleander48	6/25/2008 4:53:08 PM Yes, anything is possible. However, you must consider the person you are dealing with. Many things come into play. Such past experiences (childhood and adult)fear, selfishness, spirituality, etc. Some people are willing to forgive, some or not. To my knowledge we cannot go back in time and change anything. We can only ask for forgiveness with a sincere heart and change the bad behavior. Truth and honesty goes a long way, beginning with self.