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| And then there's OUTER space.
by katiescarlett72 at 7/20/2008 5:55:15 PM
I've been there for the past few months.
Andy was a huge, huge mistake. It ranks right up there with the design of the Titanic and Madonna's current hairstyle. He was awesome while we were dating, treated me like a total princess, and I was a big enough idiot to not only fall for it, but to bet a commitment on it (after a way, way, WAYYYYY too short period of dating).
There's nothing that I can say to explain why I did something so totally out of character and ridiculous; I've tried and tried to think what on earth was going on in my head and I've gotten nowhere. I'm not one of those women who have to be in a relationship at all times, I do pretty well single and in many ways prefer being single to being in a relationship. I've done the white-dress-walking-down-the-aisle thing and I have three kids, so it's not like I'm running out of time to choose my picket fence here. I've never been a conventional mom, wife or woman, and I'm not starting now.
Really wanting to be committed and TRY to make this work, I stuck around way longer than I should have; I should have bounced the moment I realized that everything about him was a complete lie. I kept thinking everything will get better "when he gets used to kids being around," "when we get out of this apartment and into a house," "when he gets transferred to his new job," blah blah blah, excuse after excuse.
I'm not going to go into a lot of details partly because it's personal and partly because I don't want to dwell on it. On Friday morning I had myself and everything I owned packed up and out of there by noon. I'm staying with friends, and happy as a clam at high tide LOL. Emotionally I disengaged from him LONG ago; my only concern has been making sure that I was in a position financially to get back on my own.
There's major silver linings: I do love Fort Worth. I've lived in Dallas all my life, and I am just flat-out in love with Cowtown. I've made friends out here already and the people are SO friendly, caring and supportive. The school district is absolutely phenominal so I do want to stay in this area. I had reached a point in my life where I was thoroughly bored with where I lived, what I did for a living, and myself. The changes and challenges of the past few months have made me feel ALIVE again. I have a very clear concept of where I'm at, and where I intend to go.
Anyhoo, I'm back, I'm single, I'm thrilled, I'm excited to get on with life and see what new trouble I can get into out here. I'm going back to reenacting IMMEDIATELY and full-scale. It's always made me the happiest. I'm really still a pretty lucky chicky. Great family, great kids, great friends, a profession that I love passionately. It doesn't get much better than that.
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