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| I can't get him off my head dilemna!!!!!!
by luviz2sacrifice at 7/21/2008 12:08:46 PM
What you need to do is go on a man diet. Just as a regular diet involves cutting down on junk food, the man diet involves cutting down on thoughts of your friend. So stop replaying your good old times together. Stop wondering what he's doing. Stop trying to figure out what could have gone differently. And stop listening to drippy love songs that remind you of him. Just stop. Channel your inner tough chick.
How to do this? Break the days into manageable bits. Tell yourself you won't think about him for half an hour, or 15 minutes, or even five minutes. The moment the thought of him enters your mind, switch the station. Imagine yourself trying out for American Idol. Try to remember the name of all the kids in your third-grade class. Anything works.
To help with this process, you'll need to reframe the way you describe this man to yourself. Stop thinking of him as "the man I'm in love with." That phrase alone reinforces the connection. Years down the road you may be able to look back and gain insight from the nature of your relationship, but for now, he's just that messed-up guy you had an ill-advised fling with. Make the thing you had with this clown smaller in your memory. Don't sanctify it in any way. Eventually, time will work its reliable magic and you'll find that an hour passes and you haven't given him a single thought. Then a day will go by, then a week. Eventually, you'll find that you've let go.
It's not necessary at the moment to do anything more than stick to your man diet and realize that your friend was nothing more than your favorite mistake. And if you are in a relationship and had a fling, and since you do get along with your partner, perhaps you can allow for the possibility that one day the love you once felt for him may return.
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