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| Midlife Crisis.. or an Awakening?
by trublu5ft2 at 10/9/2007 2:06:39 PM
I have been divorced since 91. I was contented with running my business, spending time with my adult sons and enjoying the company of friends and clients.
Thannnnnnn.. it all turned around when I turned 50 this year. It didn't bother me to turn 50. I do not feel old nor act it. I have no desire to have a sportscar or to be seen with a young stud, arm in arm in public. ( well.. ok.. sometimes, I do lol) I have no doubts about who and what I am.. nor doubts of what I want in life. However, lately... something within me as awaken and won't leave me the hell alone! The void in my life has always been there.. but now.. it is a larger deeper hole than I had noticed before. I find myself craving the kind of life that I have always dreamt of. It's an urgency that I cannot explain and I have no clue how or why this has suddenly come upon me. I am more intense than ever in watching couples my age and older together.. walking trembling hand in trembling hand.. actually looking at one another during breakfast at the diner. I see love all around me. I have always seen this and would smile at the sight and thought of seeing it.. yet now.. I find myself sighing a sad sigh and wishing things that I have been able to shrug off before. The idea of marriage appeals to me more than ever before. The yearning to share the rest of my life with someone is stronger than my ability to stop that yearning. The thought of waking up next to someone.. or have breakfast ready as they walk into the kitchen goes through my mind like a race. It is almost like a tv show that I cannot turn off.
What the hell is this?!
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