|
|
|
Back To Blog Entries
| Mr. T
by jvsbbffe at 2/24/2009 9:08:11 PM
If you rearrange the letters in Mr. T, he'll f**king break you.
Mr. T scared the black out of Michael Jackson.
Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise.
The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
Mr. T was originally cast to play Arnold Jackson on Diff'rent Strokes. Unfortunately every time he said, "whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" Willis shit himself.
Rocky III was a groundbreaking film. It took 135 special effects artists 13 months to make it seem like Rocky won the second fight to Mr. T.
Mr. T and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
If you laid out all of Mr. T's gold chains end to end, he would kick your sorry ass.
Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Mr. T invented the X-Ray, the G-String, the R-Rating and Jay-Z after a late-night drunken bender caused him to momentarily forget which letter he was.
Mr. T hates golf so much, he smacked half the black out of Tiger Woods.
(This one doesnt make any sense to me since hes only half black anyways)
Mr. T and the rest of the "A-Team" were disqualified and kicked off the show "Junk Yard Wars" for violating the safety rules and building a fully functional M1A1 Abram Main battle tank, when all they needed to build was a steam-powered catapult.
The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Mr. T's neck was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.
Mr. T is the original black Power Ranger.
Mr. T once stated that he "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that Mr. T was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.
Once, Mr. T joined forces with Chuck Norris to fight crime. All criminals in the known universe were instantly vaporized by the sheer awesomeness of their Mohawk/Mullet combination. Afterwards, Mr. T created Vin Diesel using a welder and a 55 gallon drum, but left him bald so that he could not challenge their hairdo supremacy.
Mr. T currently resides in a small village in Turkmenistan, where "Mr. T" translates to "Santa Claus." In unrelated news, Children in Turkmenistan are scared shitless of Santa Claus.
Mr. T was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us fools, who have to fight for it.
Mr. T claims that the "T" stands for pain.
|
|
|
|
 |