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| Fvcking Online Dating!
by theharleykat at 4/16/2009 2:46:39 PM
Well, it's proven to be a nice tool to utilize as a means and way of meeting new peeps...but I have also learned how to weed out the TOOLS. 
Things you may encounter online:
E-Personas...you know the sort. You could fall in love and commit yourself to marriage practically...that is how awesome they are! But in PERSON...without the anonymity of the computer screen, without the time to organize thoughts and sentences (and probably run spell check! *lol*)...they are pretty...meh. Usually accompanied by...
E-Schizro...Severely lacking social skills or just flat out socially inept...they probably would PISS their pants if they actually followed through with meeting! *lol* They plan the meet...but something ALWAYS comes up....a sudden rare illness, a death in the family, visiting relatives, an alien attack.... 
Then there are the ones who are not romantic interests at all, and not even the opposite gender....
E-personators...yeah...they do whatever they can to...become you. They mimic (or attempt to) your posting lingo, copy blurbs from your profiles, start imitating you in such a manner that...well, when mom used to tell you, "Be nice...imitation is the biggest form of flattery!"....she was wrong. 
Yep...I have one who does everything from rape my friends list, to contacting men she notices I talk to in forums. Ick. I wonder if she has installed a camera near my house, by chance?
E-Instigators....ok...this sort...they GOTTA tell you how THEY feel about YOUR profile and WHY you are WRONG....in spite of it being YOUR PROFILE. Jesus, Joseph, and Mary...these people would come into your HOME and tell you that your choice of bed linens is inappropriate...that you are more of a flannel sort instead of that 800 count Egyptian cotton! Back off! I think I know my SELF, more than some cyber freak! 
E-fabricators. Aka...E-Lying F**ks....they say they are "a few pounds over" or their pic is "recent" when you can see a copy of Modern Mechanic from 2001, sitting in the mail pile. Sure...not all of the drop down selections on a website are the best choices...but if I have 5 extra pounds in my FACE alone, I am not gonna check "a few pounds over" or "average." Hellooooo! Average refers to WEIGHT...not intellect, genius! Oh! And "Athletic" means you have MUSCLES and are most likely a gym rat...NOT that you at some point and time in your life, you played a sport...probably pee wee t-ball!
And we cannot forget E-stalkers. You know the sort...they start emailing. Suddenly they are "popping up" in the exact same forums as you...immediately after YOU post. You get added to their faves list, over and over, in spite of removing yourself multiple times. Then they are at the nightclub you hang at...and suddenly your church. Argh.
Almost as bad as what I call E-Desperados. They send email saying hello. You're nice mannered, so you reply. Maybe 10 emails are shared. Then you go out for the evening and are not back online till Monday...and they FREAK. "Where has my Princess been?! I have not heard from you ALL WEEKEND!" Ummm....sorry...I have a life. Then you mention the great sushi place you went to on a date and it becomes, "Oh my Gosh...I cannot believe you are seeing someone else! I thought I meant something to you!!!" Wow...did not even know dudes last name, but he was planning our weddin'. O-tay. These same sort who are a little less extreme, will send a FIRST message, saying, "Hi...I am Joe and I like you. Wanna go out on my yacht tonight?" They then get pissed when you tell them momma taught you NEVER to go with strangers.
So I know that there are MANY more....but we will save that for another blog!
For now...I need to go check my [blocked site].com mail! *lol*
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