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by pjchairo at 4/21/2009 7:13:53 AM
DAD 04/20/09
I'd like to thank my dad. Without his constant advice and opinions, I might have respected him.
LOVE CHARADES 04/20/09
The reason I don't do well with women is because of my physical appearance. Women are just so put off by my boyish good looks and bedroom eyes that they are unable to reject me to my face. So instead, they hint their disinterest at me, hoping I can guess they don't like me. It's a little game I call Love Charades. Ladies, I'm not good at regular charades, let alone Love Charades. Nevertheless, I find myself playing it...
"Uhhhh...okay uh, fake phone number! Alright, uhhhhh...you're going to the bathroom with your girlfriend for about an hour until...I lose interest and go home. Is it a...pineapple?"
My luck hasn't always been bad with women. In fact I was in a relationship not long ago. But it ended when I found out my ex was a Love Charades champion.
"Uhhhh...you hacked my Myspace page...okay uhhh, you cropped yourself out of photos we took together...uhmmm, you turned my relationship status back to SINGLE, uhhh...is it chicken salad?"
That was the last time I ever dated a 14-year-old.
DISCLAIMER: The previous line was shameless shock pandering. My ex was 31 with a 14-year-old's mentality.
CORRELATING EMPLOYEES 04/20/09
I go to a gym, and like any gym, it's staffed with good looking men and women. How come other businesses don't hire people who reflect their specialties? You go into a pawn shop and you're waited on by junkies. Or you go to a tanning salon and you're greeted by a bag of prunes.
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