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| What i wrote in jail
by offender1542618 at 5/13/2009 11:40:55 PM
HEAVY HEART
A small light dims as the day is ending.
Going dark in a 8 by 7ft cell.
I can hear begging and crying for forgiveness
For the crimes they committed
Wanting to go home to loved ones
I hear ones angry, sad, and hysterical crys for help and pleading
As the guards make their rounds
I sit and listen to this
I realize that i am not one of them
Why am i not begging
Why am i not crying
Why do i not feel
why can't i cry, beg, or even be angry
All i do is sit and listen my mind blank
My limbs unmoving
No tears, no anger, no begging, no thoughts
Why can't i feel like them
Why can't i.
A TEAR
I stare at the floor my mind blank
Just staring
I hear my name being called
Mail
I break the tape from an already opened envelope
I only get mail from one person
I read the letter
I flip though the pictures
And as i flip though
A tear
A single tear
I'm confused
Am i happy
Am i sad
I sit and stare at the tear
Asking the same two questions over and over
I find myself screaming in my head
What are you
But the only answer i find is
I don't know what i am
What is this
I don't know why the tear
I never knew until today what i was
Grateful
I CAN NOT HAVE
Pain is a pleasure that i can not have
As long as you are in my life
There is no pain only happiness
For when i see you smiling
There is no room for pain
So you see as long as you are there
By my side
As much as i want it
Pain is a pleasure that i can not have
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