My Newest Rant

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My Newest Rant
by jerrig at 5/18/2009 9:22:33 PM

I have to make some major life changing decisions within the next couple of days and it is causing a major anxiety attack.

My daughter took off to shack up with her boyfriend and in the process cost me my new job. So, either I have to try and find a new place here in Montana that I can afford on my own, apply for help with daycare, find a decent daycare provider, find a new job... all in a place where I have absolutely no friends and no support network OR I can pack what I can fit in my truck and leave the rest behind and take my boys back to Missouri where all my friends and family are and try to start fresh there. At least there I have a support network even if they are mostly dysfunctional.

I just don't know what to do. I worry about if my truck would make the trip, I worry about a place to stay while I look for a rental, and no matter where I am I worry about just making it right now.

I have been praying non stop hoping for guidance.

I know all of this is for a reason, I am just missing that reason right now.
I am not sad, just worried, stressed, confused. But still singing along with my music... I feel bi-polar!

It feels good in a way that I do not have my daughter around causing constant strife and looking for arguments but it is still hard to let go especially when you know they are screwing up their life.
So, it is a huge mixed blessing.

Have you ever been so stressed and upset that you feel like you could seriously throw up?

Comments
woodsmamma	5/19/2009 12:23:08 PM Jerrig, I have been there with the smaller kid thing when my kids were little, and I am going through them going out on their own. They both finally moved out, in some ways I miss them in the ways that families should miss each other, for love ,meals , games and laughter.I sure don't miss never being able to find that tweezers to pluck those chin hairs with, tho'. LOL
jerrig	5/19/2009 3:54:09 PM Oh my goodness, that is hilarious and so true Woodsmamma! And I haven't been woken up by the phone ringing at 4am and her stomping as she runs through the house to get it either. Thank you for the laugh!
windwhispers	5/20/2009 8:58:42 PM dang i wrote to much wont let me post gonna send it to you via your mail stay strong and message me if you need some moral support
aroselver	5/21/2009 7:55:25 PM I picked up and moved 900 miles from my daughter. I have regretted it every day (5 yrs ago). I go "home" at least twice a year to see my grandsons. If it were me, I'd move back home.