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by daddy1950 at 5/23/2009 9:04:44 AM
Thank you all for your comments on my blog and the fact that I'm on a dating site while in marrage councilling. Oh yeah and on my terrible spelling. I do write but not edit so you can believe that what I type is recklessly truthful. Often I have cut my own throat by speaking openly. In my youth I was never someone to fight but my mouth wouldn't stop even as I was half unconcious on the ground. I never deliberately hurt feelings but I do speak out against abuse. As I mentioned I am in marrage councelling and coincidently my estranged wife is also with me. If this doesn't work out I fear that I'm on my way to becoming an Octo-husband because I love being married. Sharing life with a partner is my addiction. I love waking up next to someone that can share every crazy thing that comes from my demented mind and disorderly life. I am not fifty anymore so I have battle scars that life has dealt me. I make noises as I rise from the bed, when I walk, and until I dip deep into the coffee pot I am not entirely cohearent in the morning. My wife has proposed a second sleep over for this Sunday and I am looking foreward to it. My apprehentions about how I look, the condition of my home, and how my disability will be percieved by her. She lived with me for a decade but towards the end (four months ago)she announced her resentment of my broken body. I decided to send her a picture of me in a swim suit so I took my camera phone into the bathroom to take a shot of me posing in the mirror. I took off my glasses and sucked in my tummy and flexed. I was supprised how good I look so I put on my glasses to analyze my form. With the glasses on the gauze of blurred vision was lifted and I couldn't send the photo. I really need to get into an exercise program, but its too late for Sunday. I'll just clean the house, put fresh sheets on the bed and prepare for a special meal. I give a great massage and as long as I keep moving and covered up she won't notice how I look until bedtime and if I get her to take off her glasses by telling her how pretty her eyes are (which they are) I stand a chance on not appearing repulsive. Wish me luck and don't expect me to tell all, but I will share some of the events and my insecurities.
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