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| me today June 5, 2009
by noahbahdee at 6/5/2009 4:36:05 AM
Since my last entry I've done some reflecting on my life. I didn't want to feel lonely any more but I wasn't doing anything not to be unhappy. Ultimately I decided that I did indeed want to be happy and that's when the opportunity to go out on a date presented itself. I took advantage of it.
While the follow up opportunities seem to have faded away, I realized that not only was I not lonely anymore but it was possible for me to love again. I had been so angry but that had passed.
Obviously I don't know who or when but I want someone in my life. A real relationship, someone I can melt into and she into me. Total sharing with open hearts. Yes, I know that level of intimacy means marriage. And I accept that. I don't know if I'm up to dealing with heavy duty baggage like my wife had, but it's not something I have to deal with yet.
I married my soul mate. I think they're rare. So as I'm out and about I'm not looking for a soul mate as such, a best friend is much more likely. Of course if I ran into a second soul mate I wouldn't reject her, but as the song says "the best things in life only come along in numbers of one".
Being a Mormon who has married in the Temple I can have my sweetie forever so as odd as it may seem I'm open to a marriage for companionship as they say. Logically, I can do a Temple wedding if it comes that, but since my quota has been met I wouldn't reject someone just because they didn't want all the "families can be forever" thing.
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