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| Will
by trublu5ft2 at 11/26/2007 6:58:41 PM
There was a time when my youngest son and this boy, " Will" were best of friends in grade school. Will lived down the street and we sorta " adopted" him as his dad was in and out of prison for drugs and his mom just no longer cared. He spent most weekends with us, went on camping trips and rarely missed an evening meal with us.
I watched him become a teenage... typical in many ways.. but a hurt I understood. He and I would spend alot of time talking as I prepared a meal in the kitchen. He wanted to do big things in his life, to be the opposite of his dad.
In the summer of his 17th year, I was in and out of town alot on business. I came home from a business trip to hear on the radio that Will had a argument with his boss at the local grocer, went home, grabbed a pistol off his kitchen table and walked off. The authorities spent 2 days searching the park behind my house and the county for him. I was very concerned for him and a neighbor said they last saw him knocking on our door.. no one was home.
In the evening of the second day, I took my walking stick and walked beyond the park into the woods. I was troubled by the whole thing and needed time to think. I found myself walking the path to the creek where my son and Will used to swim when I caught the sight of a shoe and leg behind a tree facing the creek. It was deathly quiet and I could hear my heart pound in my ears as I slowly walked to the front of this tree.. my eyes never leaving the bloody shoe. I knealt down in front of this child.. still focusing on the lifeless, blood-splattered shoe.
I couldn't find my voice....but my heart spoke out. 17 years old... what a waste of precious life. He only wanted to not be compared to his dad, just wanted to be happy with his girlfriend, just wanted to prove to the world that he was of value.. but no one would give him the chance. I wondered so many things. How long did he sit there before making that final decision? Did his short life play before his eyes? Did he wonder how his dad could desert him? Would his mom open her eyes with his death and do right by his twin sister? Would his sister hate him for doing this? Did he wonder why I was not there for him when he needed me the most? That question haunts me to this day. Did he feel a calmness just before he pulled that trigger? Did he make his peace with God?
My tears made the blood on his shoe turn pink.. I patted his shoe... never looking up at him. I got up on trembling legs and called the chief to let him know that Will was home.. he was finally where he would be most valued.
I went to this boy's funeral with my son. As I stood in the back of the funeral home, I scanned the room and remember shaking my head in amazement. I think every teen-child was there to say good-bye to their friend.
I think.. for many of us... we have more friends than we will ever know. Will, you were indeed loved.
Trish
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