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| HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
by jvsbbffe at 7/2/2009 12:13:20 PM
• Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
• Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
• France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
• Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces delivery to Wednesday only.
• 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
• Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
• Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
• Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open Tuesdays and Fridays.
• Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
• Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
• New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by Januaury 2030.
• IRS sets lowest tax rates at 75%.
• Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
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