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| Stalker???
by gibarbie at 7/8/2009 10:03:56 PM
I have/was dating a man for the past year, I have known him for several years and we just finally hooked up.
Well, he was hospitalized for two weeks and then blamed me somehow but I haven't seen him in months. I visited him almost everyday while he was in the hospital... I was so worried about him. I spoiled him with love, gifts, attention...
   
I kept asking him does he really love me because I feel like I am going out of my way for him but he never responds and never calls!!!
I checked my phone records and found that I called him 10 to his 1 time... Wow that was ground breaking and I burst into tears! To me that makes me feel like a stalker but I am not a slut, and he did lead me on..
I wish I had just ran away and disappeared his memory from my mind like that movie Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind~ strange movie but after all this self-realization, heart break and disgust I wish I could just erase all my memories of us.
Honestly I don't think it would be hard since he never bought me a thing- I just have all his stupid left over stuff at my house like his razor, his man wash, belt and some clothes... no emotional connection to that- come on!
I used to wake up in the night in shock for months he was always laying next to me- his tall strong body right there for me to touch and kiss and love... Now it is so much the opposite, I wake up alone missing him so much. 
Did I really love him or just his body and his presence? Did I buy my way to his heart and he just left once the money stopped?
Or maybe it was the fact I bought my own house and he just didn't want to stay with me??? God I would have loved him to stay but because I am not renting anymore he ran- yet always came back on the weekends.. said it was too far to drive all the time...
I AM A TRUE BLONDE I THINK~ I FEEL LIKE A FREAK STALKER IDIOT~NOT TO MENTION I AM SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED OUT OF MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I CAN NOT BELIEVE I WAS HITTING ON MY AUDIOLOGIST TODAY?!? WHAT WAS THAT?!? I DON'T HAVE ANY LINES BUT I JUST KEPT SMILING AND GIVING HIM THAT LOOK...
I HAVE BEEN SINGLE FOR MONTHS NOW BUT I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE IT TIL LAST WEEK!
NOW I WANT TO MOVE TO CALIFORNIA FAR AWAY FROM HERE- WHY? ALL MY FRIENDS ARE FREAKED BECAUSE I AM IMPULSIVE AND THEY KNOW I AM A HEART BEAT AWAY FROM DOING IT... AT LEAST THEN I WOULD BE SO PRE-OCCUPIED WITH LIVING & JOB... JUST MORE PROBLEMS...  
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