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Back To Blog Entries
| Forgettable: Part 1
by sonyaw at 7/27/2009 7:37:30 PM
Remi sat in the window seat in her bedroom staring at the flashing Christmas lights adorning the front porch. Another holiday to get through. Halloween wasn’t so bad. At least you could hide behind a mask. And Thanksgiving was all about the food. Everyone got together and stuffed themselves stupid, rarely taking the time to consider whether they really had anything to be thankful for. But Christmas was the worst. Okay, maybe not the worst. Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve competed for that. Two holidays completely prejudiced against anyone who dared to be single. But at least on those days people left you alone to be depressed in peace. Not on Christmas though. On Christmas you were expected to be happy whether you liked it or not.
But Remi wasn’t happy. Wasn’t even sure she knew what real happiness felt like. She had seen it, of course. She saw it every time her sister came to visit. Her perfect sister with her perfect marriage and her perfect kids. But then, Alana had always lived a charmed life. Head cheerleader marries the captain of the football team. The perfect cliché. Now her husband was a doctor and Alana was about to graduate law school. And yet they still managed to find the time to raise their twin girls.
Seven years younger than Alana, Remi had arrived on the high school scene too late to ride in on her sister’s coattails. Everyone who knew Alana had graduated. Remi started out a nobody and had done a pretty good job of maintaining that status.
Remi heard laughter coming from the living room and knew the first guests were starting to arrive. Every year, a couple of weeks before Christmas, they would have a family get-together before everyone when their separate ways to celebrate the holiday with various out-of-town relatives. Pretty soon, Remi’s sanctuary would be invaded by someone demanding Remi join the party and pretend to enjoy it. Remi left her seat and went to the adjoining bathroom to check her appearance. She cleaned the leftover makeup from her face and washed away all trace of her tears from earlier. The last day of school before the holidays was always depressing. All the kids would be making plans for parties and hanging out. But those plans never included Remi. She would be lucky to get a “Have a Merry Christmas” from one of the popular kids.
She studied her reflection in the mirror. She wasn’t hideously ugly or anything. Her shoulder-length brown hair, more frizzy than curly, could be tamed with a flat iron. And with just the right amount of makeup to cover the freckles, her face was almost pretty. She stepped back and studied her body shape. Not fat, but not thin either. She could stand to lose a few pounds. But there was nothing about her looks to turn off every guy she met. But there was nothing to attract them either. She was forgettable.
Perhaps an engaging personality would make up for her less than striking appearance. Unfortunately, she was also severely lacking in that area. In her mind, she always said the most clever things. And she usually managed to entertain her parents and other family members. But put her in front of someone she actually wanted to impress and she would completely clam up. Her mind would go totally blank. Of course, much later, all those witty responses would come to her unbidden. When it was too late to do anything about them.
So, here she was, a junior in high school, and she had never even had a boyfriend. Not that she was a complete loner. She had a few friends that she hung out with. If she happened to call them and they had plans, they always asked her to tag along. But, funny thing, they never actually called her to invite her. Guess they forgot her too.
She took one last look in the mirror and asked herself, “If I just disappeared, one anyone even notice I was gone?”
A knock at the door interrupted Remi’s pity party. She opened the door to her sister.
“Are you going to hide in her all night or come out and join the party?” Alana asked, mockingly.
“I’m not hiding. I have a migraine,” Remi lied.
“Oh, come on, Remi. Stop being a party pooper. You know Rick, the girls, and I are leaving tomorrow to spend Christmas with his grandparents. This is the last chance for us to get together for the holidays. Besides, you know Mom will throw a fit if you hole up in here all night.”
“I took an aspirin a few minutes ago. I just need to lie down for a little while to let it take effect. Just tell Mom I’ll be out in about in hour. Knowing her, dinner won’t be ready until then anyways.”
“Fine, but you know she’s not going to be happy.”
Alana walked away muttering something about teenagers and their drama. But Remi had already tuned her out. She pulled out her backpack and emptied all her schoolbooks out of it. She stood for a few minutes staring at the empty backpack. It’s now or never, she thought. Quickly, she began filling the backpack with all the clothes and personal items she could fit. Since she didn’t have a car she couldn’t afford to carry around a big suitcase. She grabbed her used Pringles-can-turned-piggy-bank and emptied its contents on the bed. Between her allowance and the lunch money she had saved by not eating at school, she had close to two hundred dollars. She knew it wouldn’t get her far but hopefully it would do until she figured something out. She knew her mother would be knocking on her door in precisely one hour to drag her out. She locked her bedroom door to hopefully buy her some more time then climbed out the window and disappeared into the night.
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