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| Dear Diary...
by kurtis000 at 8/25/2009 11:41:01 AM
Dear Diary...
Dear Diary, Today I time traveled back to yesterday so I could finish what I started writing today, so that when tomorrow comes I can finish what I started writing the day after tomorrow, which I started today and will now finish tomorrow instead of two days from now, at which point I will travel back in time to today and finish the entry I started two days ago. I’m tired...
Dear Diary...
Blah, blah, blah, ra-pa-tee-ta, today I ate cookies and bought some cocaine. All in all a good day, Very fast paced, slowed down and fun though.
Dear Diary...
Since plan A failed, moving on to plan B, world domination.
Dear Diary...
I am now tired of world domination , its too demanding, it was great fun for a while and I think I will miss it but I can’t seem to keep the world from hating me. I pose the question... why am I not loved? And for some reason I can’t keep the Russians from starting another cold war! They just ignore my hallmark cards and send me Borsch! I hate them! Sigh... and my girlfriend keeps complaining about the toilet seat being up! I swear I don’t have time to put it down! I have a planet to run, a country to destroy and if I get one more evil eye from her I’m sending her to Bolivia to lead yet another charge against Peru! Why, because it amuses me! I guess I’m going to let everyone I’m captured go free with the exception of Garth Brooks, Britney Spears, the Dixie Chicks, David Hasselhoff and Chuck Norris. I need someone to run on my giant hamster wheels to keep my rocket ship going. Gas is too expensive these days and I promised my wife I would be environmentally friendly.
Dear Diary...
Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, A,B,A,B, select start...
Dear Diary...
I just saw Chuck Norris again. He tried to sell me another Stairmaster. Then after I refused, he round-house kicked me in the hand and said “Have a good’en.” What is wrong with that dude?
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