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| Why I'm in self-imposed "solitary"
by rynnn at 8/29/2009 8:02:46 AM
..and why I will remain there.
The day I started my summer vacation I responded to a pictureless profile on another site..nothing major..just agreeing about how much fun antique stores/flea markets were (that's how bored I was...pictureless profiles are normally bypassed, based on past experiences). They sent a pic back..and for the first time in eons, I actually got kind of excited.
A week later we had an awesome 9 hour date, lots of walking in parks, talking on park benches, some browsing in stores..no expense, just a damn nice time. And at the end of it, a kiss like none I'd had before. I got so muddled I missed my exit on the highway.
But..they didn't show for our next date..despite his email saying he would..supposedly he went to Bancroft to see about a construction job(probably another date that took the whole weekend). Then, while in "hidden" mode on that site, he added my gf as a "favourite". (Guys, it is a very small world out there yanno lol). We had a talk and got things sorted and we had another seemingly awesome date. Things seemed to be going great..except for the fact that he'd never ever call when he said he would. Sure he was busy (supposedly) with his construction jobs, but he'd be there with emails and chats as much as possible..totally understandable..and I appreciated that he did find time to chat/email. But he'd never call (what kind of contractor has no cell phone..he'd even said he had one but didn't have it on him..and when I called him on it, he side-stepped the matter)
He wasn't much of a computer person, so I allowed for a lot of slack, and he was out of a 20 year marriage, so I allowed for his dysfunctionality at getting back into the dating world..but on the ONE time when he REALLY needed to back up his words with his actions (to firm up our plans for that weekend)..and after saying he'd deleted his profile on that site and he missed me and was looking forward to spending time together that weekend..nada. No email, no phone call..poof..he was gone. Clearly he found someone else.. so be it..but WTF yank MY chain?
I'd been mind f**ked.... again. I've just had enough of the BS over the last 10 years. If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got...Steve Tyler. In my case, that'd be nothing other than disappointment.
No more. I'm tired of trying to find the best in people and being mistaken time after time..and I don't like the idea of having to treat everyone like a liar until proven innocent. That's just not right..or fair..to the good guys that are out there..and I KNOW there are some. I just want NO part of it anymore. My heart (and I) deserved better..just like anyone else.
I'm deciding to officially be happy with what's left of my life. 
Shoot the poop....ONLY.
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