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| my history
by coldfire12 at 9/2/2009 10:45:37 AM
i suppose i'll start off with my history with girls. really it sucks XD
ill start off with the time i started liking girls. that was in third grade. theres this girl i usually sit near by and i just couldnt stop staring at her. i didnt want her at first but she just attracted me. i remember working hard cutting some strings for her and she complemented me for my work, although i cut too much haha. she really changed though but she doesn't interest me no more.
4th grade this girl named chloe came around. really the cutest girl i've ever seen at the time. i was too scared and shy to pursue her. i remember her saying thank you really loudly to me. and i remember he stopping a chair from falling on me while i was picking up trash with my bag on. i try finding her but she has no online identity...
since then theres this one girl every year but again i was just too shy to even think about approaching that girl. my junior year of HS i started to talk to them but they were awkward and a learning expereince. still no dates, no kisses, no sex... i resort to masturbation and at times, porn, which i want to get off of.
senior year. i see this girl that was at my sophomore year class. i liked her looks but never went for her. talked to her once at junior year. i ask for her number and got it. talked to her on AIM and she revealed her secrets to me, and i was the only one she told me at the time. it seemed smooth sailing until we try to go out. shes always busy and if shes not, shes sick.
so then i went to a party and then i talk to her online. nothin much happened and she logged off without a bye. i mean she could have been busy but that just cut me down. i stopped seein her at school, talking to her on aim and just went on with my senior year. strangely, whenever she saw me, she would say some words... i was scared as hell whenever i saw her. and she kept on doing that. it was the day of my grad prep and as i waited to go home i saw her again. i saw then looked away, then talked to her for the final time it seemed.
i believe it was early august when i just got bored and decided to talk to people and message. i messaged her and got a response, hows summer and all that, and a request to eat with her. i was stunned. we make plans but she had something come up... we try again but it fails again. then she has a 10 day vacation, i sent her messages but never responded. a few days she came back she messaged saying one of her sisters f**ked her up and gave her a big grounding. she wont tell anymore.
so now im suspicious although i doubt it. how can one be so willing to see me, decide to avoid me by deleting me as a friend on facebook and tell me shes grounded. ill look into it but i think its a small set back. soon itll be the 4th year ive known her and still no luck with her. i already wrote 3 poems and plan another. it just seems no matter what i just cant get one. so please girl readers, if things dont work out with her, ill do all i can to make it work out with you lovely ladies. something inside me is waiting to come out and i need a loving companion to do that just. read my profile, get a feel for who i am, and even if you are remotely interested, talk to me. im easy to talk to and dont worry about embarrassing yourself, since i probably have done so myself.
if you want to contact me outside of this site PM me or something. i have high hopes =)
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