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| old and single(sounds gross)
by cindyloo2664 at 9/3/2009 12:21:17 AM
I wonder sometimes when I am awake late at night, like this.Why everything seems to happen so easy when you are young and single, you just go on and start over so easy after a break-up. I guess the last time I was single, I was 28 and I was working around guys also, so I never really had to even look for someone to love, it just happened and life went on.I really can't seem to let my guard down now though, I still can't believe he cheated, and if he would , then maybe the next one would too. I can't go through this again, even writing this I cry.That is so stupid, I know in my heart that I deserve better than he was in more ways than just cheating. I just want to be safe again, to know that the man I am with wants to be there and nowhere else. I want to be happy and I want to LOVE again and be LOVED. I want to laugh til I can't breath, enjoy my sons youth, and not be faking a happy face anymore.I know it is possible, so I have got to let go of the pain, and trust that the lord will send someone to love me and my children . God, can I babble or what????I pray I do find Mr. Wonderful soon, winters coming, and I don't want another cold feet winter, I miss cuddling soooo much.I am going to be a better partner next time cause I won't let myself take it all for granted.WHERE ARE YOU????? I guess love does make the world go round....I can't believe I miss love so much... I don't miss him, but, to be kissed, to be held, to be truly wanted by someone who really cares, that is all life is I guess...well, let me stop before the pity party kicks in..... I want to live again, so  God send the right one and let me have a happy ending to this sad chapter of my life!!!!
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