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| New revelations
by butterflybliss at 9/8/2009 1:55:54 PM
This labor day weekend I was invited to a potluck from a new church that I've started attending. An unity church here in Tallahassee.
The group is composed of an older crowd in there 40's and early 50's. They are a very fun and open minded new age group.
So I'm sitting with a few women outside and we were sharing stories of different events that have occurred throughout our lives on the basis of need subduing to pure want. This is something that has always been my motto in a non-religious sense and it didn't dawn on me till just then that we all share such experiences.
My motto is if you want it bad enough, you will get it.
There were several different stories ranging from really wild to mild. My story that I will share in this blog is mild so you can get the grasp of what I want to share.
I needed mushrooms for this potluck. Because I was to bring an hors de'vor and it was stuffed mushrooms. I needed large cap mushrooms for stuffing. I didn't have anytime during the week to pick any up so I waited till the day before. Now, I'm from the big metropolitan city where in the grocery or produce stand there is a giant container of mushrooms ranging from small to big. The price per pound is higher because you get to pick them out yourself. The walmart had a container full of tiny ones. I went all over the darn place in search of these mushroom caps I needed. I finally wound up in Publix and they had 6 large cap mushrooms for $3. There was no way in hell I was going to pay $3 for 6 mushrooms when I can pay $2.50 for an entire basket of mushrooms. I was tired, I was pissed off, I just had it with Tallahassee, and I came to a crossroad. I just gave up on the whole idea that I was going to find these large mushroom caps. It was then when the "need" to find the mushrooms dissolved and left only the "I really want" to find big mushroom caps.
Figuring I'd settle for the smaller ones I started going through the entire case of packaged mushrooms looking for the package with the biggest mushrooms. I dug all the way to the back of the case and found 2 packages that looked like most of them were of the larger size.
The next day I start on these hors de'vors. I opened up both packages of mushrooms and to my surprise they were all huge mushrooms just like the package of 6 for $3 were except I found a whole basket full for $2.50.
It was all just caps with the stems cut very short to fit more in there. Someone working in the mushroom packaging for publix must of made themselves their own mushroom basket and then hid it in the back of the case is the only thing I could figure. But the moral of this story is I found what I wanted when I really wanted it.
My wilder story I won't go into. But it dawned on me at this religious function that I have discovered a whole new idea that I knew about all along.
When I was kid and even in my early 20's I was brought up in a christian background. I was to believe there was a God somewhere up there in space what we call heaven. To follow the ten commandments. Go to church. And more importantly have faith.
I had dreams. Big dreams. A lot of dreams. But I could never seem to obtain them. I'm from a family of poverty so I didn't have any gravy train childhood. I prayed and prayed and prayed. Went to church, bible studies, potlucks, gave my 10%, just all out and still I was extremely unhappy on where my life was and why the hell God wasn't helping out here.
Then one day I looked in the mirror and saw an unhappy face with an unhappy going nowhere job and looked up at the ceiling and said, "Fcuk you God. I'm doing things my way and I am going to depend on myself. I am going to do what I want without you."
Nothing really happened right away. But when I look back I see how the universe smiled upon my situation. Things did change. And 5 years later I opened my own business. My credit was a perfect 720. And life couldn't be any better. I made all my dreams come true and now I am having to have to dream up new dreams.
For years I was an atheist realizing that I left religion and my life got better when I depended on me. But lately something came to me. (Lord of the rings - like when the ring came to Bilbo Baggins). I didn't find it, it definitely came to me. It has to do with this new age religion. I'm learning that there is a God but he/she isn't up in heaven. God lives inside you, he lives inside all of us. And when you get in touch with him those ten commandments aren't really commandments. They are more like commitments. You have this desire to share and want to do them, rather than be commanded to do them. I'm not an ordained minister so I really cannot go in length on the subject but thought I would share it with you.
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