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| 09.24.2009
by chakra4 at 9/24/2009 4:28:29 PM
Finding balance in the means of expressing love for one another I feel is important. This is not like a pendulum scale however, where each partner contributes what is in their heart to a respective side. Most of us are much more complicated than that, loving and needing to be loved in many different ways, with each unique in what we have to offer and desire in return. As for me, I believe that complements are necessary and when or if a complaint needs to be voiced it should not be done so that it tears down the other person. Giving gifts is a way I express affection, but this does not always have to be a big showy act. A red paper heart cut-out and taped on the steering wheel so that it is found in the morning or a pretty dress that I might see in the store are ways of expressing myself. I think that quality time is important. Going out to dinner and/or a movie, taking a bike ride, attending a dance, hiking in the mountains, kayaking, or a theme park is always fun; but then too, I feel that quality time can be had by lending a hand with the dishes, folding the laundry together or going on a walk and just talking. Too many people focus on the big events like a night out or a special trip, and forget that to express how they care as a daily occurrence in the little things that make up our everyday lives is just as important. I believe in doing, so cooking dinner, washing clothes, paying bills, or watching the kids is also a way to show affection. In a relationship there should be balance in all areas for things to really work. That may require planning, such as a calendar listing who cooks what night; this brings fairness so that one or the other partner does not feel like they are shouldering more than the other. Sometimes of course you do have to do more, but in the end it should all come out more of less even. Finally, I think that physical touch is important and I do not mean always as a prelude to something more. Be it a hand laid lightly in the small of my partners back, a quick peck on the cheek, holding hands, sitting closely together while watching a movie, or spooning together at night. When things become a bit hotter, it is important to understand and fulfill my partner's needs not just think of own satisfaction. As part of this, I like brushing a woman’s hair, giving a back or foot rubs as much if not more as receiving similar attention in return. It is these ways and more, which helps the lady I care for feel loved. Ask yourself this, do know the things your partner needs from you to feel loved, do they know that about you?
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