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Back To Blog Entries
| 08.23.2009
by chakra4 at 9/24/2009 4:32:11 PM
After reading last week an article written by a fellow Dad on Internet dating. I considered a point he made, which was to make ones profile into a blog of sorts. So today, I will make my first entry into that. The other day I was asked by someone if I have had any luck on this site? I was not sure what they meant by 'luck'. If that is to say has it led me to having some longer term relationships, then sure. Have I developed lots of friendships or acquaintances from here, yes. However, I have yet to meet someone looking for a serious relationship, who would like to settle down, and that I could spend the rest of my life with. There are times that I thought I had, but in hindsight I am glad that it didn't go that way. I can't say that this is an issue specific to the people on DateHookup, as I have experienced it on other dating sites as well. More likely this is a cultural issue magnified by Internet dating. What I am talking about is the grocery store approach to finding a partner. Many browse through the aisles looking for that ideal someone. However all you really have is the container to look at online. There is sometimes a photo and words, yet those rarely depict accurately what the package contains. I have yet to pour a bowl of cereal, make a frozen pizza, or cook up some vegetables from a can and have them come out like they are illustrated. Fortunately, there are men and women here who really are all they seem to be or even better! Yet it appears few are willing to take it past a quick scan of the package, an eMail or two, maybe some IM's or texting. In my experience, even those that do move beyond that seem for the most part to be seeking someone who is nearly perfect when they are not that way themselves. Though more out of realism than romanticism, I think there are many who could be 'the one' for us - the alternative I find too depressing. To me for a relationship to be successful long term requires a commitment by both parties to work through issues when they come. Looking at the dating & divorce statistics sadly most don't see it that way. On this site there are people who have been here a really long time. Why is that? I am sure there is a reason for each, however my feeling is they picked something off the shelf, tried it, and decided it wasn't for them. While I can relate to and respect this, maybe part of the problem is in the picking. The prettiest apple isn't necessarily the best fruit depending on what one is wanting to make. As for me that is a lifelong partnership, and - in my opinion - for that what is on the inside matters more. In relationships, I feel that sharing passions in common is important, though it is often the differences that can add spice as well as the opportunity for one to grow in new directions. Like in a well seasoned meal, it is the balance and complement between the ingredients that make the dish work or fail in a disaster. From what I have seen achieving success takes more than most are willing to give. It is my hope that instead of 'luck', we can see beyond the surface, and find someone right for each of us. I know that it is not my desire to be on this site forever...
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