Friday again?

Back To Blog Entries

Friday again?
by 1oleman at 9/25/2009 6:23:45 AM

Man this year has flown by. Isn't it odd that the older ya get, the faster the days fly by. When I was young, I remember the stages of life in years. kinda like the seasons, you know spring- summer- fall- winter. Well at age 63(almost) I guess i'm in the late fall or early winter of my life. I can say it's been one heck of a ride so far. My biggest reget is that I never applied myself. I always was looking for the easy way. I'm not a genius, but I always figured my intelligence as a cut above. Sad that I never applied myself to being something more than what I am today. Then also I was gullible and wanted to please everyone, which I think lead to my being taken advantage of. I just wanted to please and be respected as a "good kid". My parents, GOD rest their souls, never taught us much. My mom was a uneducated paranoid woman. (Thats a story for another time.) My dad was not a Rhoades Scholar either. Looking back now I can see where he was trapped in a failed marriage and let his brain be ruled by a "certain" part of his body. (also a story for another time.) Deep down I have always felt that he blamed me for his problems. I don't think he ever played ball with me or for that matter took me fishing or just hugged me. So sad. Well they're gone to their rewards now and being a Christian person I forgave their transgressions against me. My biggest problem now is the propsect that I'm going to have to live out the rest of my life alone. I'm kinda crazy, now since my wifes passing. Not too sure of myself anymore. Always asking dumb questions and generally looking like a fool. I've had 4 big tragedys in my life, Car accident (not of my doing) that sidelined me for a year, A STROKE, Bankruptcy, then my wifes passing. I know that the LORD won't put anything more on your shoulders than you can carry, but mine sure are getting weak. Well enough crying for one day. GOD BLESS

Comments
grits03	9/25/2009 8:39:43 AM Well, you sound like a lot of us in one way or another. Just keep looking ahead. We're always learning, always changing. Keep your mind and all the doors opened. wish you all the best. Grits
lkavour92	9/25/2009 9:32:00 AM I don't think that being older has anything to do with life going by more quickly. Even young folks today seem to be caught up in this frenetic lifestyle. You seem to be an empathetic man (how refreshing) who has taken the time to think things out. However, I think you are being too hard on yourself. I can see that you miss your wife, so your marriage was way more successful than your parents'. As a Christian, you know that God has not put these challenges on you, God has saved you from the accident, saved you from the stroke, enabled you to navigate the bankruptcy, and will comfort you in your grief. You will NOT get weaker, but stronger because that is what God wants for you. I hope you will look for that increased strength and peace every day, it WILL be there. May God continue to bless you.lease know that I am not a particularily religious person but I felt compelled to write . Thank you for allowing what may be an intrusion in your day with a post that may be too personal, but do understand, my motives are pure. Leslie
1oleman	9/25/2009 2:10:52 PM Thanks, I just wanted to get some stuff off my chest, It's been building up for a couple of years now. I do think that GOD has spared me from serious injury, but that stroke took away 65 to 70 percent of my use of my left side. I guess I could be in a wheel chair, So it ain't so bad when you stop and think about it. 1kavour92 I hope you get a much more personal relationship with the LORD as you seem interested in religion even though it might not not be the #1 thing in your prirorities GOD BLESS and keep you from harm