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| Socks ....what the hell!?!
by thedoctor1970 at 10/3/2009 10:11:57 AM
Socks. We all have them. We all love them. Some are big,small are small,small don't fit or smell very good at all.
Some are white,some are dark,some are colored,some have litle gray patches on them,and some a little writing. Women's have cute characters or little balls on the back.
The underlying enigma about socks is not why we wear them. They keep our feet snugglie in shoes without rubbing blisters on our skin. They give us cushion and warmth,and keep for those of us like me that hate doing floors,something to get dirty instead of our feet.
We love our socks.
So why do they abandon us? I make it a point to curl them together at the top before and after washing. I give the sock a mate,a likeable buddy ,companion,partner....a marriage of sorts ,to spend it's sock life days with. They separate like most married couples only to do their job. Metaphorically speaking,we are like my socks. We spend our days away from loved ones with a big ole foot of life for the day.
Yet as I do laundry sometimes, there's a sad ,dejected,confused ,lonely sock.....with a missing partner. Checking the dryer, I only come up with more questions than answers. Where the hell did the missing sock go?
Theories have abounded in my head. Is the dryer a ravenous sentient being who enjoys the occasional sock sacrifice to lull it back into its dormant complacency? If there were no socks with which to give this tribute,would it arise and potentially eat me or simply take one of my pets as it's offering?
Maybe the spinning of the dryer inadvertantly opens a rip in the fabric(get it?) of time,or a wormhole into another dimension,where millions of socks now drift through the vacuum.Or another planet where socks perpetually rain down upon it's inhabitants.Are there whole societies of people who have socks as their Gods? Do they think God gives them these single socks as gifts?
Perhaps there are little creatures that stow away inside of dryers and enter your home through said fashion(get it?) and wait for socks to do their evil,gluttonous pleasures upon? Perhaps it would explain why instead of getting holes where the socks rub the most(like the heel or around the top of the shoe,they instead get holes in the toes).WTF? Maybe the little gremlins for lack of another word,delight in the nibbling of toe residue!
I've tried to help my socks find a new mate.It just is never the same. Both end up sad ,always longing for their missing perfect sock soulmate. One may be squishy while the other stays firmly in place. Just like their mates did. Its a mismatch and I can only watch as the socks simply end up broken heartedly fading(get it) away.
Perhaps you have a theory on where the socks go?
If so please feel free to write and share your hypothesis..........
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