|
|
|
Back To Blog Entries
| What is wrong with me.
by timmyjimmy at 10/13/2009 10:58:29 AM
Here is a list of what is wrong with me!
Nobody ever really says bad things about themselves. So let me be the first - We should cover the "deal-breakers" now . . . .
Go.
I am a recovering "emotional retard". But that douche-bag with the shirtless-bathroom pic is a full-blown emotional retard. At least I am working at it.
I have a gut that I work hard 4 times a week to lose.
I have a gap between my front teeth.
As a result of quitting smoking recently, I have discovered that I am mentally 16 years old. Okay that is an insult to 16 year olds. More like twelve. Yes, I am twelve.
I like fart jokes. Sue me.
I can't dance. I can do the standard slow-dance, but I have two left feet and I can't do the club thing. Even if I could, I'm not sure I would want to anyway. Let's mosh!
I am Canadian. You might not think it's a bad thing. My friends do. They call Canada things like "America's hat!"
I enjoy some alone time.
Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, on this site knows what a broken heart feels like more than I. Well, that's probably not true but I am sure you get my point.
I practice with my band once a week. That's one less day that you will be up my a$$. But it's one less day I will be up yours!
I am not a "Bleeding Heart Liberal". Sorry, I am not. I'm not Rush Limbaugh by any means either. Is that bad? Depends on who is reading this, I guess. But if you wanna burn your bra, by all means . . . I will cast no stones!
I am a nice guy. Yes, that can be a bad thing. A lot of ladies are drawn to bad boys and drama. Sorry, I am not a cheater or a drug dealer, and my pants don't sag. I guess I'm just boring.
My desk and my car is a mess.
I love dogs, but I am more of a cat person, just so you know. Meow.
I am punk rock.
I will teach one day.
I love me some SLAYER! Yes, the death metal band. I grew up on that stuff! I dig me some Willie Nelson as well. Such contrast, huh?
I constantly update my "What's wrong with me" to this profile. Ask me and I will gladly review/critique your profile, with love of course.
I am not an overly jealous person. This seems to be a bad thing. No, I do not like the idea of some guy hitting on my lady, but I am not the type to go beat somebody up every time a guy says something to her.
Anything genius I come up with is by pure accident.
I do have the best two kids in the world. They are well-behaved, sweet, and pretty dang smart! That's not a bad thing of course. Just wanted to throw that out there!
Oh, and I am the motherfunkin' Honky Cat of Funkadelia! Well, all right!
I am awkwardly clumsy, just short of breaking something expensive in your moms house the first day I meet her, which is the worst thing that could happen, but would only happen to me, but your mama would love me anyway!
Did I mention that my english sucks, therefore my sentences tend to run-on?
I am pretty damn sure I was brought to earth by THE MOTHERSHIP! Ah, well allright!
When I was twelve I wanted to be a ninja. Karate chop!
Oh yeah . . . I have two kids who are from two different mothers! Double the fun! LOL!
My daughter called me a "Sucker M.C." the other day. That can't be good.
I am slightly unorganized.
I HATE talking on the phone for extended periods of time.
In the 7th grade, I rode the short-bus to school!
I will not date you if you have a third arm growing out the side of your head. Sorry, everybody has a line and that's where I draw mine! I'm a shallow pig!
I am far from an axe-murderer, but I am nuts.
I make nothing even close to six figures. Yet. I am nacho sugar daddy!
Fergie makes me throw up in my mouth.
I caught myself watching Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo the other day and enjoying it!
I like sports . . . . A LOT!
I have no natural talents.
Sometimes I am too lazy to Google stuff.
Sometimes I wish I had tourettes so that I would have an excuse.
I am a free-baller!
I LOVE freckles!
I am not very funny in the "What the hell did he just say?" kinda way. No, I am more funny in the "What the hell did he just do?" kinda way.
I want some fu(kin' WINGS!
I have a t-shirt with a pic of my face on it!
When I die, I want to come back a ZOMBIE so I can eat your BRAINS!
I am sure there is a lot more. I will post when I think of it.
So tell me. . . . What the hell is wrong with you?
|
|
|
|
 |