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| Muse
by missmandi at 10/16/2009 11:36:15 AM
This is a sample of some writing I do when I'm thinking.. it litterally just comes out as if I'm talking my thoughts... I think this took me a whole 5 minutes to write...
It's hard to know that at one time, in this life, you were my best friend.
At one time, you and I were like a pool of sand in my palm.
I held on just loose enough in the beggining to keep you with me,
but the fights broke us down and
the words we both threw around tore into us
and left lascirations deeper than either of us could heal.
With every blow, a tear fell -- I knew you saw it --
and that tear landed so heavily atop the sand pool
that grain by grain was knocked from it.
After a while, the pool became a pond -
the pond a puddle
and in the last moment, I closed my
matt hand to form a fist. I tried to prolong
the inevitable; tried to keep the sand that had been losing itself
to the ground below.
Keep the "us" that had been losing ourselves
to the world around.
And keep the dreams alive that had , clearly,
been dying from the moment they were born.
And in all of this sorrow, I have somehow, someway, gained a muse.
You, of all, have somehow inspired some of my deepest thought.
My most talented, creative work.
I have gained an inspiration, a knowledge.
and the more perplexed by you -- by this -- I am,
the more thoughts floud my head and I sit back, breathe them in.
Drown in them, and come up for air with a pen on paper.
I have come to realize, these tears hiting my now closed fist,
as I reminice on memories past and regail myself in times from photos kept,
are not sadness .... but an escape.
An escape to let the bottled up things I could not tell you out.
And escape for the frustration of the thing I could not make you see...
the ways I could no longer make you feel...
An escape, for the sand.
And now, looking down, I open my fist and realize the sand is all gone away.
The remains of what had been securely pressed, slipped through the cracks of my fingers
and taken by the wind to the earth. They cannot possibly all be found again.
But thank you.
Thank you for being my escape.
And I'm sorry.
Forever,
.:* Mandi *:.
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