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| My Will To Forget
by rabbitbrown at 10/22/2009 8:31:30 PM
I wonder over these sheafs of paper
These journals I've made as contemplations
These photographs of my life
And I reach deep into each reverie
Like I'm demanding a perfect example from me
And falling shorter every time
Just when I think I'm together
Just as I cross over some border
And begin believing I have my freedom
I'm bound to the world again
And I'm losing the battle even as my hands shake
Even as I resign to my continuous regrets
My unfortunate shortcomings pressing in again
To strangle the will to forget
Though I've learned from countless mistakes
And I've crawled through my own mires
Fifteen paragraphs deep
Though I've read through every moment I've written
Relived the bruises, the heartache, the hopes
How then
Do I still fall short of what I actually feel
Just as I stand beyond winter's harsh hands
Just as I begin to entreat release
And enrapture in the sense of where I could be
I'm pulled from the heavens again
And I'm forsaking the glory even as my heart races
Even as I still have hold
Being re-drawn back and away again
All my faults gazing resltessly about as close friends
Denying
The will to forget...
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