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| seeing only beauty lost to truth.
by bluebird77 at 10/24/2009 1:26:26 PM
For some time now I have been tryin to write. I always thaught that it would be easy. but its not. At first I was just trying to capture the moment, to be able to look back and see and remember what it was I was up too until then trying to forget. To perhaps see how good I was at negating what had become the grater part of me.whatever battles and deamons I was faceing I was loosing and in a big way. all hope and dignity had been lost . the once O too proud me had been reduced to the brink of selfdoubt. the pain and grief of giveing up on ones self. then the more I wrote the bigger the hole became. I could see myself as my worst critics and antagonists could and even emphatise with their way of thinking. the further I travel on this road of self realisation and truth the harder it gets. For in looking for the real me I am confronted by the worst of me and forget alltogether that there are inspirational parts to this being. The very hardest is the giving up of me held hidden for so long. to loose the fear in the nitty gritty of ones self truth. I born to die walk the rasors edge alone and rauciously laugh at the sheer beauty of the moment.
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