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| Relationships / Marriage
by tafleming at 10/26/2009 12:24:43 AM
Relationships / Marriage..
Any relationship that is good or even great all have one very important thing in common.... Any idea's on what that one thing might be? ~Friendship~ There was a mutual attraction that did not take on the physical form, but an inward form. That little spark inside someone else that caught your attention. It may have been a funny saying, or a witty comment. But whatever it was certainly captured your mind.
The dating scene is a rodeo at best in my opinion. There are so many things that go through a persons mind when they are out on the town. Am I boring him/her, do I have food in my teeth, am I coming on too strong, am I talking too much, can I see myself with this person for a good length of time or possibly the rest of my life, do we have ANYTHING in common, and the list goes on and on. My idea's of a first date is taking this person somewhere that will allow me to have a conversation with them, get to know them a little. I do not want to be in a place that is extremely loud where I cannot hear them, or I am constantly trying to drown out the crowd around us. So a nice dinner in a little quite restaurant would be a good starting place where there are just enough people around to make both parties comfortable. Afterword's maybe a walk through the historic district in town while eating an ice cream cone and talking about our childhood, or a funny story in our past. If we have survived to this point without going insane, then maybe go and find something else to do in town close by like putt putt golf, or a movie. The point is that the whole purpose of that first and second date is to answer that one important question that is on both of our minds. Can I see myself with this person for any length of time? And if the answer is no then do not waste anymore time, be honest and open with this person and move on. But whatever you do, do not settle for anything less than what it is that you want. And if the first date was a little rough, do not worry. It was probably just first date jitters. Give you and this person at least a second date to recover from that. You may be surprised, then again you may not.
Now a marriage is a whole new ball game! You and your sweetie have decided to tie the knot and say "I Do" This is a topic that I can really go on for days about so I will try and keep this short and to the point. The marriage vows are not just a few mushy sentences thrown together to make the ceremony sound good. They are vows, a commitment, and further more a binding contract that i'm sorry to say is able to be broken in today's society. You are saying that you will stand by this person through sickness and health. Regardless if you have money or not you will be there. Even if this person has a whole bunch of weird and annoying habits, for better or worse... You have stood in front of this person that YOU love, and that YOU chose to be with and made a vow in the presence of your family and friends. Most importantly God, and you said "I Do" agree to stand by this person in spite of all of the things that will arise in our marriage and I will hold strong and true. The funny thing is that the world will toss all kinds of road blocks in your path and offer so many easy way's out of the current situation. And in the middle of it all you lose site of what it is that brought you two together in the first place. Friendship, love, passion, a laugh, a look, a touch......
So many things that are put aside that made the both of you crazy about each other are now old news, or yesterday's trash. There are several things that I believe firmly on that a man and or wife should both make a priority in their marriage. And the number one thing that is on the top of that list is putting God first in your lives as man and wife. I know, I know. You are thinking right now that is so 1930's. And you would be correct in saying this according to the times that we live in. But let me ask you this.......What was the binding glue in those marriages that made them work in the 30's, 40's, and 50's? MORAL VALUE......The men and woman of those times were raised with it, taught these values by example, and not just words. Dad worked however many hours needed to provide for his family, and Mom made the home a home. They took on a very important sense of pride in this, and it gave the marriage a house built on a few principles that most of us these days no nothing about. The foundation of that house was the Lord... Each sunday the family went to church not because it was expected of them, but because that was the way their life had been from the word go. Tell me this, do you eat dinner at the table or in front of the tv? Do you spend time talking to your spouse about the goals and dreams that you both share, or do you just assume that they will follow along because you wear the pants? Do you value yourself more than your spouse, or do you see them as your equal?
Last but not least.............SEX.................This is where men and woman bump heads constantly. The man considers this many many things. Some feel this is the only true way to connect to their wife. The deepest and most honest way. And then there are some that feel this is a right of theirs for being the provider. Women view sex most of the time as a reward for their husbands for doing good, or they view it as the best way to communicate with their husband on the deepest levels of love. These are the most common thoughts of sex between husband and wife. But there are so many different ways it is viewed. So I would strongly recommend that the two of you take the time to sit and discuss what category you place sex under. You will be surprised as to how much you will learn from your spouse in this area. And I promise it will enhance your sex life with your spouse ten fold. Always remember that words can give life, or take life. Never assume that your actions will be enough to keep the love your spouse has for you true and close. Never cheat on your spouse, attempt to control your spouse, or put yourself in a position that calls your character or faith into question. Remember that is not just you, and your wants, and needs.......There are two of you now. No matter how many times you say i am sorry, or please forgive.....It will never leave the mind and heart of your spouse. It will effect your married life forever. And in most cases end it.
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