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| The Reality of the Hunt...Conquerring...and Fears
by irresistiblered at 10/26/2009 1:29:25 PM
Recently I experienced an emotional snowstorm which started by the thrills of the hunt...the mirage of the conquering a very difficult Quest...and losing it all because of the fears of discovery.
Let's start by this statement, which we all have heard: "The thrill of the hunt is much more alluring than the actual prize, itself."...I assure you, that is not, and never have been my problem.
I prefer and advocate the philosophy that the "Ecstasy of Having" way super exceeds all the supposed excitement in the chasing stage.
I do not find the phase when things are unknown, a part of a relationship, therefore, the chase and the conquest means nothing to me.
The men I cannot have...are the ones who are in love and in awe of others...and I am way too old fashioned and way too much believe in the integrity and morality, to ever pursue their kind.
That would only leave the remaining group who are living in fear....the fear of conquering or being conquered...the fear of being discovered...the fear of losing their hard earned freedom...the fear of being the "Emotional Hostage" (I burrowed that word from a friend. Great explanation)... of a woman who is capable of doing an emotional earth quake, the Quickening to their feelings. To shake them from the core and melt their whole belief system, which is comfortable and already accepted.
The later group are my dilemma...while I see the greatness in SOME of them, I am repulsed by their lack of courage (which in my eyes is the absolute aphrodisiac, without compare), I should be by all my own accounts be repelled...HOWEVER...as I had already confessed, I am gifted (or cursed) in seeing through the mirror of their souls. Humans are an easy (sometimes way too easy) read for me.
Therefore, I also see the potential of the POSSIBILITIES, the hidden and buried courage and strength, suppressed by their defeats and the let downs of the past....and oh my oh my, I get intrigued.
So...if I hunt the unobtainable, is not because of the factor of the challenge they present, but the result of the reality of their soul and its possibilities.
If I see the same traits in an achievable and ready to mesh companion, I would be as equally intrigued, I assure you.
Meanwhile,...Yes...I have the slew of players and the smooth talkers and the gamers and the desperates and the shallow miss-spellers and the hicks and the means and the controllers...and all the rest who are offering me their heart which is nothing but a mirage, even if does exist.
Why should I settle for the handful of rubble at my feet, while I am desiring a mountain?
The desire is what is driving me...Not the chase.
And I am perceptive enough to know the difference.
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