Do 2nd & 3rd Marriages get Better?

Comments
pretty_moonpa	10/30/2009 9:36:38 AM I cant say.......only married once but I would hope so or someone is making the same mistake over and over
jennyann71	10/30/2009 9:37:44 AM and if you have only been married once then why do you think your second would be any better than the first?
jennyann71	10/30/2009 9:38:56 AM moon great minds work alike as we were both typing at the same time.
pretty_moonpa	10/30/2009 9:54:15 AM well I would think you have to change a whole lot about the law of attraction. Working on ourselves should be a life long endeavour but some things need more work then others.......
catsmam76 online now!	10/30/2009 10:08:09 AM Only been down the aisle oncw so have no opinion to offer......
jennyann71	10/30/2009 10:13:54 AM Cat"""" do you have visions of a better tomorrow with the second time around? If so why?
altje	10/30/2009 10:49:43 AM My first was good while it lasted, my second was wonderful. Married too young the first time and for all the right reasons the second time. Made all the difference in the world.
bigmamano7	10/30/2009 10:50:31 AM I was married 2 times, and they were both, and ----------------, lets just say I am so glad I am away from both -------- Vicki
bigmamano7	10/30/2009 10:52:01 AM I am so glad I have met Dale on here he is a real sweetheart, He is so good to me and my 2 daughters, I love him so much. Vicki
bob1938	10/30/2009 12:55:23 PM Been married twice. The first ended because of me. The second ended because my wife decided she preferred women to me after 5 years, so it was still my fault. I don't know if I would want another woman to live with. I prefer living alone as I have for the last 24 years with only brief periods sharing a home with another.
mehrob	10/30/2009 1:34:58 PM Call it Karma, fate, or just plain bad luck, but the bare fact of it is that all subsequent matrimonies are the same marriage with a different person.
gimmycricket	10/30/2009 3:28:53 PM One week after I re-married my 1st wife---- their was no difference. It was just a 5yr. break. Then here we go again. Don't be crazy!!!! I go along w/bob---Just have lady friends, and leave it at that..
gimmycricket	10/30/2009 3:32:18 PM By the way---that 2nd marrage last 18 months
jennyann71	10/30/2009 4:28:16 PM A shrink told me we marry the same person and he or she might be thinner or fatter or older or younger but same personality and traits as the ones before as we are drawn to a certain type person. Do you beleive that? I do in a way.
lkavour92	10/30/2009 4:53:33 PM My marriage was a disaster. I actually escaped across Europe to get away from him. But shortly thereafter I met and began living with David, for 21 years very happily. Joyously, actually! So I guess I got that "Not knowing how to pick 'em out of my system." No marriage for me however...very skittish in that regard..
the_brock	10/30/2009 5:05:35 PM Being one who has been married 4 times and divorced, I say, after 2 GIVE IT UP! NO SHIT!
geribro74	10/30/2009 5:24:50 PM I have a son who has been married and divorced 3 times. i hope he has learned his lesson well.
morles	10/30/2009 7:07:29 PM I knew a guy that was married 11 times to 9 different woman...I would love to hear his answer to this question....LOL
texangelfire	10/30/2009 8:17:30 PM I had problems in my first marriage but I stuck with it for 25 years. I am trainable and I looked for some different things and some things that were good in the first marriage. I had a keeper in my second husband. He was my reward but I don’t know what I did to earn that reward. I will know when it is right the next time although I know he will be different I will love those differences.
texangelfire	10/30/2009 8:34:59 PM I was thinking more about what made the second relationship so good and I remember we always respected our differences. We discussed things and we differed on many things but we never argued or ever had a fight in the 18 years we were together. We loved and respected each other so why would we. He told friends that I understood him more than any other person ever had and I felt he understood me more than I understood myself.
foreveralady	10/31/2009 5:45:36 AM My third hubby was wonderful,but after 10 yrs. Jesus decided he needed him in heaven...he was 47 and died of cancer. I've been alone long enough to know what I NEED and can also give,and am praying to that end...???????
jennyann71	10/31/2009 7:03:37 AM Well I for one do not understand the new rules as the men in my Life have always taken care of me and protected me and Of course I gave it back ten fold in so many cute and loving ways but today""""" no one takes care of anyone ???Ponder?
jennyann71	10/31/2009 11:26:17 AM Thank you note:""""" I appreciate each and everyone's feed back to my quest::: and thank you for your time.ja
bevyea online now!	11/1/2009 2:40:25 AM moon said it...working on ourselves is a life time endeavor. I was married 3x...the last divorce took 3yrs 2 attys and...I finally had to fire the atty's and do it myself. However, during that long wait for freedom, I realized I had a flaw in my perception of what was acceptable in a mate. Turns out I enjoy the personality someone has after a couple of drinks. What took me so long to understand is that there are people out there that don't need a drink to have that personality. Once I realized that, I know what I need to do.
suzydoll	11/1/2009 4:00:04 AM Unfortunately it all begins with ones self and the problems one has to deal with in a relationship and how one copes with them. If the problem does not get resolved within us then we simply carry them with us from one relationship to another. Research has shown us that we do tend to be attracted to the same type personality. My perception in how to break this pattern? Work on yourself, get the healing necessary to prepare you to be in a healty, happy, functional relationship. Once you have accomplished that,,, know what you want and do not settle for anything less. Be true to yourself and all else will follow, eh? You will then be drawn to others like yourself. Great Post. Unfortunately multi-marriages are more common now than they have ever been. Divorce seems to be the easiest answer to a bad relationship these days rather than each person doing work on themselves to bring healing into the relationship. Of course sometimes we do not get a choice if our partner demands a divorce. Bottom line I suppose is that it takes two people working together to have a healthy, happy, functional relationship so we need to be careful of our choices when yoking ourselves to another. I think the most important thing to remember when having experienced multi marriages is to learn the lessons from the experience, receive necessary healing from the experience, FORGIVE yourself and your ex,,,, then totally let it go so that it does not interfere or keep you from finding and establishing a healthy, happy, functional relationship.
genieus	11/1/2009 9:23:55 AM It ll depends on if you get smarter or dumber as you get older.
elsoundalike	11/1/2009 9:40:36 AM Suzydoll, very well written. Everybody is always trying to change the other person.
christineone	11/2/2009 1:59:17 PM The grass is not always greener on the other side, we all could learn from that one........
ronin48	11/2/2009 3:36:27 PM Folks, If I can chime in please. As a 3 time winner/loser, what I can say is this-- At my age, the need for marriage is what?? What I need is an intelligent woman who can handle a conversation and doesn't go all PMS when she doesn't get her way. Let's face it at our age the personality is far more important than sheer looks (although I don't discount those either.) Find someone you're comfortable with and let it develop. Best to us all - Paul
ziggysdad online now!	11/2/2009 7:47:51 PM I was married for 33 years and the first 20 were wonderful. The last 13 the dog became the only friend in the house . The wife new what time all the chores han to be done and the wife didnt fail to remind me when it was time . The washing, cooking cleaning, yard work, all became my duties. Every time something went wrong it became my fault. Couldent even get a hug when i came home . I am just sorry i didn,t leave sooner. Have found a great friend on DH and pray all works out for us but the sound of the word marriage still runs chills down my spine. Richard
dawnmarie123	11/3/2009 10:19:25 AM Well, here goes. I just ended my third marriage. The first one abused my children, the second one abused me, the third one just went nuts - walked into the living room with a 357 magnum down his throat. He loved his momma and could not cut the cord, even at age 63. I don't think it was WHO I chose...they just went haywire. A shame.
kariagain	11/6/2009 6:40:38 AM Married life is what we make it. My 27 year marriage was far from perfect, but we made the best of it. Would I try it again, sure why not? Who knows, at my age I have learned that no one is perfect including me. If you do not try you will never know what you might have missed. I do understand how some of you must feel, I never dealt with what you have. My hat is off to you!
ctprincess	11/6/2009 6:47:14 AM I am hoping that 3 times a charm. There are no personalities in common with #3 so I am hoping that, in fact I know, this will be the final marriage for me...for if it doesn't work out I will never marry again.
catsmam76 online now!	11/6/2009 6:53:56 AM Miss Jenny here's an answer to your question way back up top,yes I have vision of a better romantic relationship the second time around as I have grown and matured as a person and espicaly as a man...
ctprincess	11/6/2009 7:26:50 AM Cats....we have all grown and matured and I give to anyone who has the courage to not only realize it but speak it in an open forum....
hobobob500	11/6/2009 8:05:44 AM There's is no secert for a marraige to work, both must work 24 hours a day 365 days a year to make it work.
bea1937	11/7/2009 10:57:30 AM You are right hobo. I have been there twice. Alone 9 years. I miss having a husband. Most of my friends complain about their husbands. I wonder how they would like being without them. B