Hold Tight To Those Dreams

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Hold Tight To Those Dreams
by trueblue5ft2 at 10/31/2009 5:45:45 PM

They say you can't miss what you have never had. I wonder about that sometimes. My oldest son called me last night to say he just found out his dad died 3 months ago. You have to understand that my son had never seen his dad and only talked to him on the phone only once. That is a story within itself. But..my son mourns for something that he never had. I think that what he is mourning.. is not the man.. but the dream of meeting him face to face one day and get the answers he so desperately needed and deserved. Now that dream is lost forever. I do not know how to console him. I have been honest with him about his dad and that was all I could do for him. Sometimes... it is just the clinging to a dream that keeps us in the hands of hope.
Let us cling to dreams when nothing else will do.. and let those dreams carry us as far as the possibly can... for without those dreams... we lose a piece of ourselves. I love you Clay!

Mom

Comments
okiemt	10/31/2009 5:52:13 PM I can relate so closely to you and your son. I wish your son peace of heart.
pretty_moonpa	11/1/2009 4:21:07 AM true....my heat breaks for your son.....he may want to take a visit to where his father is interred and to find out what he can about his last years....He needs some sort of closure. As a mother you have done what you could...that other part ....the part he didnt have and now can not needs to be put to rest. I hope he finds what he needs to do that.
jennyann71	11/1/2009 7:15:17 AM He is Looking for parts of himself that needs to be answered and maybe through investing his father's life he can fill in the voids within himself. He is so lucky to have a loving mother.
trueblue5ft2	11/1/2009 12:30:34 PM Thank you all. I went through alot of guilt raising him alone.. but he knew the story of how his dad abandoned me when I was 7 mths pregnant. It was best as Clay turned out to be a really great guy despite my raising him. I just cannot think about how he would had turned out if his dad was in his life to be honest. I can tell you this. Because of it, that boy will make a hell of a dad someday
miss6042	11/1/2009 5:20:25 PM YOu did what you needed to do at the time.. What he didnt have from his dad was impossible for you to give him..Congratulations on a job well done..
muttmomma	11/2/2009 5:34:52 AM Your son will need to find his own way from the darkness..it sounds as though you have done your best. I have my own 'death of a dream' story, I guess most of us do. I use writing as a release
claudius5	11/6/2009 2:34:52 AM I hope your son finds his peace and from your posting I know you have done all you can for him and this he must do alone. He also knows that you are there for him and that can be a powerful thing to see him through. I know without saying it that he knows how much you love and care for him and this will give him the strength he needs. I wish both of you all the best and I agree hang on to those dreams.