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| Saturday
by evildarkqueen at 11/7/2009 9:53:57 PM
J Rice - Afraid of Love :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpiqgIn6I9o
I have never feared anything in my life. I wonder if I have been afraid to admit the truth to myself for all these years.
A beautiful day for this time of year. And supposedly another one tomorrow. Like manna from heaven. I really don't have much to write about again... I guess my life is getting boring. I went over to Stella's today and we worked outside. It was really nice to be out in warm sunshine. Not as warm as I like but I will take it.
She kept trying to feed me and although I really had no appetite I did eat a bit. Breakfast and Chantix just did not mix today. But I had fun as usual. Charity finally was let out of rehab and seems to be doing well so far. Hopefully one day next week Stella and I are going to drive out and see her. It has been a while for me. It will be good to see her again. It seems she is interested in the Air Force. Being a pilot myself I think she has a great idea. The rush is better than any drug you could ever do .. almost as good as sex. lol Almost.
One step at a time though so get that diploma first. **fingers crossed**
Well no Brook tonight. I wasn't really even disappointed for some reason. I don't know, I just came home and wanted to relax. I am pretty sure I will see Brook tomorrow.
I talked with Rach this morning... that has been a while too. I am afraid of her. Not in the physical sense.. the emotional one. Life has been different the last few weeks. Am I really afraid to love someone? Is that why I sit here when there is nothing holding me back? I don't have the answers for these questions ... yet.
I gave this problem away. I will stick to that. I have faith and hope. I will never lose that.
So I watched the fights tonight "Strike Force". I enjoyed it. There is something about watching two guys climb into a steel cage and try to beat the f**k out of each other that I find ... enticing. lol I am not really sure what that says about me, but I guess I don't care either. I would buy a f**king ticket to watch Gladiators if they had them. I guess we are truly nothing but animals contained by intelligence.
Tomorrow I hope to get some needed work here done since it is supposed to be warm again.
Food: 2 peanut butter and toast, ham sandwich, 2 pieces of pumpkin cake, 3 pieces of thin steak, 1/2 can green beans and 2 hi-cal drinks. Meh ... I guess ok.
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