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| Today for the rest of my life...
by irishm at 2/6/2008 9:30:20 PM
The tornado hit within 15 miles of my place and I didn't even know. No one called me, I waited until the rain let up before going out to feed Cassaday and Baby Sam. They watch the windows for the moment they can catch a glimpse of me. I put tall muck boots on and a thick hoodie to keep my ears warm. Peaches is waiting at the door, she loves to storm out onto the deck ready to do battle with whatever wolves, panthers, sparrows, that might not be fast enough to escape her ferocious, 18lb, Scottie attack. And Tom Cat slides around the door frame to ooze over to the edge of the deck to view with deepest disdain all the invisible demons Peaches is barking her head off at. I have to be careful going down the five wood steps because the frost is slick. My once perfect dimpled knees are now a bit more dimpled and a whole lot more worn out than years before. When did they start hurting like the devil? I guess its true that when you injure something when you are young it will tell you the weather when you are old. I open the storage shed door and the sweet green hay smell that I love so much surrounds me. I fill the coffee cans and take them out to the feed buckets. I remind Cassady to watch her manners and tell Sam not to push me. They settle in front of their feed and munch the nutty grains of sweetfeed. My plan for the next ten years of my life was to train this mustang girl with the softest touch possible. To never stress her and to take my time to earn her complete trust. Now, all of that is lost. Destroyed by the infidelity of my partner. He could not hurt me more than by making it impossible for me to keep my animals and make everything I loved disappear. How do I sell these noble equine who have only love and trust in their eyes when they look at me. Animals are innocent, they have pure, instinctive feelings. Dr. G was kind of right, we used to argue about whether animals loved or they only react to positive reinforcement. I think they just love. I am grieving for the moment I will hand them over to someone who was not there when they were born, who did not put them in their lap to imprint them each every inch of their bodies within an hour of birth. even to this day they all think they can still crawl up into my lap. Its quite comical to try to keep 8oo to 1000lb horses or mules from planting both feet in my lap and start to curl around me like a puppy. They have this way of hugging me with their heads pulling me into their necks with their chins. They know when I am sad. How can I sell them. And no one will want Cassaday, an untrained, wild mustang girl full of spirit and sass. I love her wildness, I envy her spirit. What can I do?
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