|
|
|
Back To Blog Entries
| The girlfriend application.
by natejones83 at 4/3/2008 6:36:28 PM
***** The Girlfriend Application *****
DIRECTIONS: Copy this blog, send me an e-mail, fill it out and then submit...Thank you.
This application must be filled out in its entirety in order to be considered for the position that you are applying. Photographs may sway my opinion one way or the other; feel free to attach any that you think may help you gain this position. This is strictly for entertainment purposes only, seriously it's a joke. I love a woman with a great sense of humor and a lot of personality and this is my way of seeing whatcha got. If you are offended by this application, I humbly apologize & kindly ask you to at least complete the reference section at the bottom & submit it to me. Be completely honest with all your answers, I will be double checking applications using Google to ensure honesty. Any false information will automatically nullify any chance you might have had. Thanks and have fun.
GETTING TO KNOW YOU
1) Are you turned on by aviator glasses or are you turned on by aviator glasses?
2) How many tattoos do you have (multiple tattoos will increase your chance of being hired)?
3) How many piercings (not including earrings) do you have?
4) Who would you consider to be the man of your dreams (John Rambo, Steven Seagal and/or Chuck Norris are the only correct answers)?
5) What are your top 5 favorite movies (comedy & horror are the only correct categories for this question, all others are wrong)?
6) What are your top 5 favorite rock bands (anything other then rock music is not a correct answer & will be held against your score)?
7) Have you ever had or considered having a sex change?
8) Do you cook (having amazing microwave skills does not count)?
9) How long would it take you to bake 30 minute cookies?
10) Do you smoke or drink?
11) Do you use any drugs?
12) Do you have kids? If yes, how many?
13) Do you work out, (watching Celebrity Fit Club or So You Think You Can Dance does not constitute a workout) and if so, how frequently?
14) Do you currently have a source of income? If yes, what is it?
15) What would you do with a Midget, a pitching wedge and a bucket of ice?
16) In a tag-team fight between Chupacabara & Bigfoot vs. a Great White shark riding on the back of an Elephant, who would win?
17) Do you live on your own (if no, please explain)?
18) What kind of car do you drive (10 points for Cement Trucks or Fork Lifts)?
19) Furthest level of Edumacation?
20) Do you have a history of mental illness (more importantly, would the people that really know you say that you do)?
21) Do you like Dane Cook or do you really like Dane Cook?
22) Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend?
23) Do you have any siblings?
24) If you could have 3 super powers what would they be?
25) How often do you say "All your base are belong to us" or "They set us up the bomb"?
26) If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
27) Mr. Garrison or Mrs. Garrison?
28) A tree falls over the Palisades Parkway, how many men are dispatched?
29) You have three seconds to count to ten (I will time you), ready, set....go.
30) Who would win in a fight between a silverback gorilla with a shotgun or the Pope with a hand grenade?
BASIC INFORMATION
1) Full Legal Name:
2) Nickname/Alias:
3) Age:
4) Height:
5) Weight:
6) Eye Color:
7) Natural Hair Color:
8) Current Hair Color:
9) Cup Size:
CONTACT INFORMATION
* Cell Phone #
* E-mail address:
REASONS I SHOULD PICK YOU
1) What is your idea of a perfect date in three sentences or less?
2) Explain why we should date in one sentence:
3) List any special skills that you may have that are relevant to this position:
4) What do you want out of a relationship, specifically one with me?
RELATIONSHIP BACKGROUND
* List the details of your past three relationships starting with the most recent.
Start Date:
End Date:
Were you in love?
Could I kick his ass?
Sexually active?
Reason for breakup?
Start Date:
End Date:
Were you in love?
Could I kick his ass?
Sexually active?
Reason for breakup?
Start Date:
End Date:
Were you in love?
Could I kick his ass?
Sexually active?
Reason for breakup?
REFERENCES
* Please supply three references (references are defined as: hot female friends) & their phone numbers or e-mail address.
1)
2)
3)
CERTIFICATION
* By typing "I AGREE" on the line below, you certify that the information given to me by you in this application is true to your knowledge & you give the authorization to verify it using any means I deem appropriate. You understand that by filling out this form & submitting it for review does not guarantee that you will be chosen for the position.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
 |