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| why in the world am i by myself?
by the_sheriff at 4/9/2008 4:04:19 PM
hmmm! i often wonder. why am i by myself? is it my choice? is it by default? i'm young, gifted and black. my love life is void of companionship. she can never love me more than i love myself - if it were so, the bible would not have commanded me to love her as myself - as my own body in the 5th chapter of the book of ephesians. so it goes without question that i love myself. certainly she can see the love i have for myself is but a mere fraction of the love i have that awaits her? can't she? is she blind? is she looking? maybe her attention is focused somewhere else - or on someone else. maybe this would explain the reason why i'm by myself.
certainly not. me being by myself doesn't have anything to do with anyone other than me. i'm by myself because i choose not to settle. i am always, always, always, always willing to compromise. but NEVER settle. i shall have what i desire. i shall have that which i speak. i shall what i seek. and there must be a compromise and a sacrifice. i must make compromises and sacrifices in order to have what my heart desires, the thing i refuse to go without; the thing i refuse to let go. i will bargain for it. i will negotiate for it. i will sacrifice for it.l i will compromise for it. but i will never do without it, nor settle for a cheap imitation. this is why i'm by myself. because i'm stubborn. i'm selfish. not with others. but with myself. i want what i want. because i am convinced that i deserve it. i'm determined. my mind is set. my heart is fixed. the love i want; the relationship i want; this is why i am by myself.
most definitely. because i am content. i am satisfied. then why do i want more? i want more because i can have more. not because i need more. I WANT MORE SIMPLY BECAUSE THERE IS MORE - AND MORE TO WANT. after all - i'm selfish. i'm selfless with others. but selfish with myself. when is enough, enough? being selfish with myself, and adding to my own emotional well-being and personal wealth should is my mission. and it is only enough when adding to myself subtracts from others. until then, the sky is limitless. adding to others by virtue of adding to myself is my mission. this is why i am by myself - because i am not by myself.
i have love all around me. it surrounds me. it covers me. it overshadows me and overtakes my soul. i am not by myself. i feel God's love manifested in the lives of those who impart His love upon me. i know He loves me because He has shown me His love for me through and by the hands of all the glorious angels He has placed in my life. i am in good company. i am comforted when i am sad. i'm am celebrated whether i win or lose. i am thought of continually. He has given me the gift of His love in others. and God has given me, ME. i love Him because He loves me. and i love me because He loves me. He loves me when i'm not lovable. He loves me when i'm wrong. God loves me when i'm right. God loves me unconditionally. this is why i am never by myself. loneliness is an illusion; an indictment against the one who came and died so we would never have to feel lonely. within the context of human relationships - sometimes i am indeed alone. but never lonely. i am not by myself. i am in good company. i am wanted. i am needed. i have purpose. i have goals. i have no time to be lonely. i have no time or space to be by myself.
so, why in the world are you by yourself?
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