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| LOVE & MARRIAGE IN THE USA
by 4la2x2 at 4/25/2008 10:59:20 PM
I live in a society where more than half the marriages end in divorce. This is a very frightening statistics. It certainly is unprecedented in the history of mankind. Many social workers and religious leaders have expressed concern about this phenomenon. Many people of good will work to reverse this trend. Yet the divorce rate keeps climbing higher and higher. What sort of people will this society produce? What sort of future will these people shape?
I think the high divorce rate is a problem. I also think it is partly caused by our expectations and beliefs about love and marriage.
We all want love but we are confused about the kind of love we need. If a woman made a man’s heart race and his head touch the clouds, he would feel in love with her. Conversely, if she saw him as a knight in shining armor who made her feel like a princess she would feel in love with him. This is an explosive kind of love; it is hot and intense but it is also transient. It is the kind of love that fits very nicely in a story book between two covers. This is the kind of love we all want. Then there is the boring kind of love. The kind of love that produces food, shelter and clothing. The kind of love that cuts the grass, fixes a clogged toilet or does the laundry. The kind of love that nobody brags about, writes about or appreciates. But, this is the kind of love that a marriage needs. The boring love is like the air we breathe we all need it but we don’t write literature about it.
The other misconception is about marriage itself. Marriage isn’t made in heaven. It is made right here on earth. It is not a union of two souls; it is the merging of two lives. It is a contract, to pool material resources in order to provide a better life for everyone involved. Marriage isn’t about happily ever after, it is about survival. Without marriage “WE” would not propagate or survive. We as individuals may survive but our cultures, our values, our societies would not survive.
Real love and marriage is about giving some of ourselves to the other and receiving some of them back. It is about compromise, patience and perseverance. It is about sacrifice and responsibility. In exchange for all that we get a chance at happiness and contentedness in this earthly life.
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