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| What Have I been doing with my time.
by hellinhazard at 5/8/2008 3:55:38 AM
I'm going to use this space for more of a journal today, I need to get it off my chest. Well starting about 4:30 on Wednesday afternoon, my stepfather who is terminally ill took a turn for the worse. Being his primary care giver, I have been up with him since he started in his distress it is now 6:30 on Thursday morning. Through that time I have ran through a string of emotions. From sadness that his life may soon be ending, anger perhaps at him for putting himself in the position of being sick; to wishing he would pass on to be released from his suffering. Then I get angry at myself for even thinking such a thing. I do think that all of these emotions are quite normal. Im not a person of faith but found myself talking to someone at times throughout the night, wishing him peace and comfort. The sun is coming up, I think i will try to sleep for awhile, maybe i will wake up and it was all a dream, I doubt it. but..........Again.... I have rambled long enough. ok it is now 4pm in the afternoon and I have yet to go to bed, so now I know it hasnt been a dream. But I just wanted to say I am honored to have made what we are told are the last days of the man who has been my father for 22 years as comfortable as possible. His suffering will soon end, and I hope that he finds peace where he goes from this earth. I love you Hal.
Your daughter
Michele
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