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| I Guess This is One Way To Go To Hell!
by eric1313 at 2/5/2008 3:52:00 PM
So, Barak Obama's Medrasa friends have imagined something so devilishly evil that even I am jealous. Just when you think there can't be anything more devious and imaginative, someone always comes abo...
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| A Traveler's Guide to These Here United States II
by eric1313 at 1/13/2008 10:22:06 AM
A continuation of my observations regarding the place we call home...
North and South Carolina
It is very important that we correctly distinguish the difference between North and South Carolina ...
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| A Traveler's Guide to These Here United States!
by eric1313 at 1/13/2008 7:20:05 AM
As I reflect on my travels, I have come to notice how each state in our beloved Union is as unique as the quarters patterned after them. As your friendly "Life-Reporter," I am obligated to point thes...
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| Military Commericals!
by eric1313 at 12/25/2007 8:05:33 PM
Brothers and sisters, it has been a while since I offered my insider's view of the military, but as I watched yet another asinine Navy commercial, I almost vomited. Here are the differences between w...
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| The Name is Bond, James Bond. Will That Be Credit?
by eric1313 at 12/25/2007 8:03:08 PM
Sorry, gentle readers, I had to recycle this story through the "funny factory" in my brain for you to really appreciate it.
I know this sounds made up, but I was at Exxon last night buying beer. N...
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| Fearless Shark Man II: Terrorist Chum
by eric1313 at 12/25/2007 7:58:14 PM
Fearless Shark Man of the Atlantic II, Terrorist Chum!
Current mood: amused
Okay, here I sit planning my death next summer. I scanned Travelocity, Orbit, and every other travel site I could ...
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| I Have Found True Love, and a Manson Family!
by eric1313 at 12/25/2007 7:54:24 PM
I have found true love...and a Manson family!
Current mood: amused
Dear readers, it has happened. Like the proverbial lightening bolt from the wild blue, I have found true love. It makes me...
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| Terror At 30,000 Feet!
by eric1313 at 12/25/2007 7:47:58 PM
Terror at 30,000 Feet!
Current mood: amused
What many travel consultants fail to mention in preparing a voyage, is that it is wise to allot time for the bathroom prior to boarding a plane. I...
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| A PTA Meeting...Or Was It?
by eric1313 at 12/7/2007 11:32:20 AM
Tonight, I joined legions of bored parents at a PTA Meeting. It isn't as though any of us wanted to attend a PTA meeting. As a matter of fact, most would rather stay at home and drink beer. And watc...
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| Demonology 101
by eric1313 at 11/27/2007 4:00:25 AM
Today I watched the Exorcist and the Exorcism of Emily Rose, classic masterpieces about demonic posession. Both are based on true stories, and they scare the shit out of me. Let's face it, a demon ...
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| Soup
by eric1313 at 11/25/2007 6:13:24 PM
I have discovered that selecting the right kind of soup to fit your tastes induces hypertension. There seem to be endless varieties of soup to purchase, yet, upon closer inspection, one discovers the...
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| Secret Lives of Teachers
by eric1313 at 11/22/2007 8:28:12 AM
Presented here is a schedule of the people that teach your children!
7:45am: Annoying alarm goes off, blaring honkey-tonk country music that burns my soul. I immediately shut it off and go back to...
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| Fearless Shark Man of the Deep Blue Sea
by eric1313 at 11/20/2007 4:33:01 PM
For the past week, I've been glued to Discovery Channel's "Shark Week." They featured shows that ranged from shark studies to shark bites. Every kind of shark imaginable was profiled from the harmle...
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| I am Caveman, Hear Me Roar!
by eric1313 at 11/20/2007 4:31:28 PM
I have found a new direction to take my life. I am going to evolve into a caveman. I've even named my new species Hetro-Erectus. It is a procreational variant of the ancestor species, Homo Erectus ...
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| Wait a Minute....Did This Happen to James Bond?
by eric1313 at 11/10/2007 8:00:23 AM
Okay, I spent the last week submerged underwater at depths exceeding 30 feet. I have never been 30 feet underwater, and I doubt most people have...for two or more hours. I'm in the middle of earning...
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| Rational Decisions on Life and Death
by eric1313 at 11/4/2007 8:28:02 PM
Today I reenlisted into the Reserves for 6 years. As I have already mentioned, I did it for just a few bucks shy of $10,000. That is the bounty the US Government has put on my a** as a part-time thug...
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| Halloween! Halloween!
by eric1313 at 11/2/2007 5:43:10 AM
Gather round creeps! Gather round ghouls and things that smoke crack in the night! No! No! I'm not talking about my ex-wife's family reunion, I'm talking about Halloween, the ancient Samhain! This ...
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