| 6/23/2008 10:43:56 AM | online dating hesitation , reluctance, | | 
springfever100
Nepean, ON
age: 41
| hi, been on numerous sites for 3 years now, and I've written some very very nice letters, to people who I'd thought would be great matches, however , after some 200 + women written to,
only one went out with me, to meet like, seems a lot of people , want to date, they sign up, but then become so frikin picky and base a guy/girl on a pic and a profile, they wont even try to meet someone in the real world, from a online dating site, I've tried very hard to initiate dates, but most people ( probably both men and women are guilty of this so it's not one sided) don't seem to get past emails, and IM's , would you turn down a ad for a car in the autotrader based on a lousy pic/ad , why not try some people out for real, you may be pleasantly surprised.... so this all has me going back to my theory , online dating is a unorthodox way to meet people, and i Guess it's best to just get back into the old way of meeting people, way way way too many window shoppers always looking for, better, richer, thinner,more perfection, why can't people just accept people for who they are ....
| | 6/23/2008 10:49:41 AM | online dating hesitation , reluctance, | | 
judit0606
Big Stone Gap, VA
age: 51
| 
Great! I agree but I simply  what else to do? So far, I've not been interested in anyone living within dating RANGE! What's a girl to do?
Well, Welcome to DH, Anyway. Good Luck and have FUN!
| | 6/23/2008 10:54:01 AM | online dating hesitation , reluctance, | | 
lobo_corazon
Kingston, ON
age: 39 online now!
| For what it's worth, I've had very good success with finding people online and meeting for dates over the years.
Maybe you could advertise yourself better, I don't know. Ask a good female friend for some advice on sprucing up your profile?
| | 6/23/2008 10:56:22 AM | online dating hesitation , reluctance, | | 
wolfi
Albuquerque, NM
age: 43
| Generally speaking, 99 out of 100 online contacts you get are likely fake.
The remaining one likely a psycho or dragging several mountain ranges worth of 'baggage'.
Real world wins again.
| | 6/23/2008 10:58:27 AM | online dating hesitation , reluctance, | | 
nomadicangel
Philadelphia, PA
age: 50
| welcome to the real world -- oops i mean the dating world -- i mean the online world --- oohhh yeah you did say you were doing this for a few years - well wish you luck and uuhhmm hope you havent paid for any of those sites --- they dont work either!
| | 6/23/2008 11:03:53 AM | online dating hesitation , reluctance, | | markman45
Manchester, VT
age: 45
| I've had pretty good luck meeting women online and then meeting them in person to date. I'm still dating severel women I met online and remain good friends with them. But, after all is said and done- I still haven't met "the one" I want to spend the rest of my life with. I guess we should approach women with an offer of friendship and without having any further expectations?
[Edited 6/23/2008 11:06:49 AM]
| | 6/23/2008 11:05:02 AM | online dating hesitation , reluctance, | |
springfever100
Nepean, ON
age: 41
| yeah i stay away from paid sites lol, basically I just lumber on still trying, staying positive.. getting out a lot more seems to be helping a bit,and I've actually had some luck with a posting I put on Craigslist.. 2 weeks ago, but yeah, dating is a tough game , I intend to beat it hopefully before labor day weekend lol I'm moving hard on this now
| | 6/23/2008 11:08:27 AM | online dating hesitation , reluctance, | | 
luxeshirl
Covington, GA
age: 62
| I am always interested in meeting someone fairly quickly that I am talking to online. Don't believe you can decide if you are interested in someone until you meet face to face. Personally I have had several relationships with men I met online - they just haven't lasted more than about a year. Still hoping to find someone that will last!
| | 6/23/2008 11:14:30 AM | online dating hesitation , reluctance, | |
nomadicangel
Philadelphia, PA
age: 50
| yeah i stay away from paid sites lol, basically I just lumber on still trying, staying positive.. getting out a lot more seems to be helping a bit,and I've actually had some luck with a posting I put on Craigslist.. 2 weeks ago, but yeah, dating is a tough game , I intend to beat it hopefully before labor day weekend lol I'm moving hard on this now
uuuggghhh craigslist i have tried that -- -seems more like kids 18 - 30 year olds do that here in my area and when you do respond to one flooded with crap in your e-mail ---
| | 6/23/2008 11:15:48 AM | online dating hesitation , reluctance, | |
springfever100
Nepean, ON
age: 41
| but how do you initiate a date with someone online, I've offered numerous fun outings, a simple 15 meeting for coffee, and nothing happens, as for me I'm the opposite, I'd go in a heartbeat to meet someone online for a date , so far, one hasn't been offered to me ( and I'm the one who overcame extreme shyness and social anxiety lol)
| | 6/23/2008 11:32:05 AM | online dating hesitation , reluctance, | |
nomadicangel
Philadelphia, PA
age: 50
| Hope you arent asking ME that question as i have no freakin idea. Been there done that --- its why i said dont go for the pay sites at least your not paying for getting no where on the free sites!!!! Also unless you are not a regular {someone who has a zillion posts and friends} or have not been introduced by a regular sometimes its even harder. Lot of people women AND men just jump on these sites a lot and throw a profile up just to be able to do a search!
[Edited 6/23/2008 11:35:53 AM]
| | 6/23/2008 12:03:02 PM | online dating hesitation , reluctance, | |
springfever100
Nepean, ON
age: 41
| yeah on POF im a reg I even host and run singles event, I've been on there 9 months now, and I write all the time to the forums, so I guess in time, something may happen, but yeah I can see what you mean by people throwing up profiles, as for craiglist, least here, it got me in contact with 2 women now, both who I have phoned, and I haven't gotten any crap or junk email yet a week later, just emails from the 2 women, so far I'm pleased lol and yes paid dating sites, avoid at all costs
| | 6/23/2008 2:30:22 PM | online dating hesitation , reluctance, | | 
thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34
| hi, been on numerous sites for 3 years now, and I've written some very very nice letters, to people who I'd thought would be great matches, however , after some 200 + women written to,
only one went out with me, to meet like, seems a lot of people , want to date, they sign up, but then become so frikin picky and base a guy/girl on a pic and a profile, they wont even try to meet someone in the real world, from a online dating site, I've tried very hard to initiate dates, but most people ( probably both men and women are guilty of this so it's not one sided) don't seem to get past emails, and IM's , would you turn down a ad for a car in the autotrader based on a lousy pic/ad , why not try some people out for real, you may be pleasantly surprised.... so this all has me going back to my theory , online dating is a unorthodox way to meet people, and i Guess it's best to just get back into the old way of meeting people, way way way too many window shoppers always looking for, better, richer, thinner,more perfection, why can't people just accept people for who they are ....
You do make a valid point. There are plenty of men who haven't achieved success, some with moderate success, and some have great success.
You see, plenty of people say the politically correct thing such as looks doesn't matter etc... That's a bunch of BS. Reality says looks do matter in profiles and in real life. Your profile pic(s) is what captures their attention, what you say in your profile and how you come across when you email them is also important, but believe me, if the women value your pic, you can say something very simple in an email and they will respond back. After that, it's up to you to keep the momentum going.
There are people out there who are very superficial and very picky. When I say picky I'm talking about grocery lists of qualities and characteristics they prefer in a mate. That's impossible. Men and women have minor quirks and flaws. No one is perfect. It's up to the individual, whether or not they can sustain a good relationship with said person despite that person's flaws. Too often, one leaves a situation for the simplest of things, or simplest of flaws. That's crazy being that he/she has his/herself own flaws.
Too note, with the age of the internet and numerous dating sites, some, not all are dating multiple partners and flake out on you because they will be with someone else. Some, not all, receive countless notes everyday so basically, you are just a number. Too note, even though you may go out with someone, they are still receiving notes everyday. So it's a matter of closing the deal soon, or potentially losing that person to someone else. It happens all the time. People stay on multiple sites anywhere from a few months to over a year so it's like you are always in competition with someone else if you haven't established a relationship - and then too, you may find yourself still in competition because you really never know what the other person is doing in the privacy of his/her home with messengers/ phone etc... THAT'S WHY IT'S CRITICAL TO LOOK AT A PERSON'S ACTIONS. THEIR ACTIONS WILL ALWAYS DICTATE WHETHER HE/SHE IS INTO YOU OR NOT.
With regards to your point about just meeting people the old fashioned way. That's all good, but you still don't know them from Adam. They can still be utilizing several dating sites and you will still have to compete.
Dating is not what it used to be. The more people recognize this, the more they can prepare for the good and the bad.
| | 6/23/2008 3:29:13 PM | online dating hesitation , reluctance, | | 
somewhere4132in
Mentor, OH
age: 53
| hi, been on numerous sites for 3 years now, and I've written some very very nice letters, to people who I'd thought would be great matches, however , after some 200 + women written to,
only one went out with me, to meet like, seems a lot of people , want to date, they sign up, but then become so frikin picky and base a guy/girl on a pic and a profile, they wont even try to meet someone in the real world, from a online dating site, I've tried very hard to initiate dates, but most people ( probably both men and women are guilty of this so it's not one sided) don't seem to get past emails, and IM's , would you turn down a ad for a car in the autotrader based on a lousy pic/ad , why not try some people out for real, you may be pleasantly surprised.... so this all has me going back to my theory , online dating is a unorthodox way to meet people, and i Guess it's best to just get back into the old way of meeting people, way way way too many window shoppers always looking for, better, richer, thinner,more perfection, why can't people just accept people for who they are ....
I am with you there. They all cry for someone! I have said the same tehing, They THINK the grass is green on the other side. No one they meet is what they want
| | 6/23/2008 3:48:45 PM | online dating hesitation , reluctance, | | 
808_sm
Honolulu, HI
age: 40
| hi, been on numerous sites for 3 years now, and I've written some very very nice letters, to people who I'd thought would be great matches, however , after some 200 + women written to,
only one went out with me, to meet like, seems a lot of people , want to date, they sign up, but then become so frikin picky and base a guy/girl on a pic and a profile, they wont even try to meet someone in the real world, from a online dating site, I've tried very hard to initiate dates, but most people ( probably both men and women are guilty of this so it's not one sided) don't seem to get past emails, and IM's , would you turn down a ad for a car in the autotrader based on a lousy pic/ad , why not try some people out for real, you may be pleasantly surprised.... so this all has me going back to my theory , online dating is a unorthodox way to meet people, and i Guess it's best to just get back into the old way of meeting people, way way way too many window shoppers always looking for, better, richer, thinner,more perfection, why can't people just accept people for who they are ....
One question. Did you write all 200+ with the same profile? Did you try changing photos, essays, and try to be creative with your profile, or did you just setup your profile and wrote 200+ emails wondering why you only got one date?
Would you go to the same bar wearing the same outfit 200 times if the first 199 times did get you a number?
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