katiescarlett72
Arlington, TX
age: 35
| A woman goes into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband's funeral. She tells the director that she wants her husband to be buried in a dark blue suit.
He asks, "Wouldn't it just be easier to bury him in the black suit that he's wearing?"
But she insists that it must be a blue suit and gives him a blank check to buy one.
When she comes back for the funeral, she sees her husband in the coffin and he is wearing a beautiful blue suit. She tells the funeral director how much she loves the suit and asks how much it cost.
He says, "Actually, it didn't cost anything. The funniest thing happened. As soon as you left, another corpse was brought in, this one wearing a blue suit. I noticed that they were about the same size, and asked the other widow if she would mind if her husband were buried in a black suit. She said that was fine with her, so I just switched the heads."
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bellamente
Binghamton, NY
age: 38
| LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.........omggggggggggggggg I just spit out my diet pepsi, and I am so glad that I just didnt start eating my blueberries and whip cream. My beautiful babysissie Katiekins, where do you come up with these things?  Owwwwwww that head must of hurt, well the top part anyways. Well whatever way you look at it, they are both dead anyways, so none of them would of been able to feel it...ewwww gross katie.......
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katiescarlett72
Arlington, TX
age: 35
| LOL I heard it years ago. I have a really sick and dark sense of humor, so stuff like this appeals to me. I'm the only person who laughed myself silly all the way through "Sweeney Todd," and people looked at me like I was an axe murderer as they left the theater afterwards.
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osoroho
Mesquite, TX
age: 58
| A Jewish ladys husband died she called the local newspaper to put in an obit. The man at the newspaper wanted to know how she wanted it to read she replied Goldstein,s dead he replied that there was a 5 woed minium it was 5 dollars per word.. She thought a few seconds then replied Goldstein,s dead Cadillac for sale.....
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garnetlady
Cincinnati, OH
age: 48
| A woman goes into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband's funeral. She tells the director that she wants her husband to be buried in a dark blue suit.
He asks, "Wouldn't it just be easier to bury him in the black suit that he's wearing?"
But she insists that it must be a blue suit and gives him a blank check to buy one.
When she comes back for the funeral, she sees her husband in the coffin and he is wearing a beautiful blue suit. She tells the funeral director how much she loves the suit and asks how much it cost.
He says, "Actually, it didn't cost anything. The funniest thing happened. As soon as you left, another corpse was brought in, this one wearing a blue suit. I noticed that they were about the same size, and asked the other widow if she would mind if her husband were buried in a black suit. She said that was fine with her, so I just switched the heads."
Didn't see that coming! Made me smile...really needed that.
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gabisanic
Pleasant Hill, CA
age: 51
| A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours. The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked...
'What good will Viagra do for him, doctor'?
The doctor replied...
'It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs.'
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missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 42 online now!
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juniebegood
Huntington, NY
age: 54
| Good one Gab!
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