| 7/23/2008 10:38:22 PM | Is it okay or should I think about it more??? | |
monique08
Arlington, TX
age: 18
| I have been talking to this guy and I really like him but my step-mom does not and she is my world... He just got out of jail a year ago after five years for stealing a car.. He is 25 and does have a bit of a bad boy look and all.. By that I mean he has 15 tattoos likes the big cloths and the hard rap and he curses a lot.. While me on the other hand I like everything but rap, things that fit, I don't curse at all..... But there is something that keeps me intrigued with him and I want to see were it goes cause you never know what it could be and I don't want to always wonder what if.... Am I wrong for that or do you agree with me??? What should I do?? 
[Edited 7/23/2008 10:38:55 PM]
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| 7/23/2008 10:48:26 PM | Is it okay or should I think about it more??? | |
katriotic
Memphis, TN
age: 25 online now!
| honey... you know i love you right??.. ok. That being said.. i'm gonna tell you like i tell my dog.. DROP IT!.. It's not him. It's that bad boy. It's totally hott!.. but lemme say.. if you don't cuss and he does.. and he does it around you and people of authority or people you care about... it's a major sign of respect issues.. u need to get out of this. I know some people should get a second chance.. but you ARE NOT the savior of lost souls. That is NOT your job. Your job is to take care of you. Love should be incredible and unfaltering. It shouldn't make you uncomfortable or unsure. please email me if u need any more help.
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| 7/23/2008 10:54:50 PM | Is it okay or should I think about it more??? | |
monique08
Arlington, TX
age: 18
| I also forgot to mention my step-mom also thinks that he would affect my future if we got together because I am majoring in Criminal Justice and he has a criminal history...
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| 7/23/2008 11:52:19 PM | Is it okay or should I think about it more??? | |
skipjoe
Tulare, SD
age: 51
| Have you ever heard about being intrigued by something very different? Being different is very fun for a while -- similar to traveling to a new country. However, even magnets become one big magnet rather than 2 seperate ones after they get together -- that is what keeps them together. Unless you have the same desires/goals of the person you are with, you will end up being very sorry if you spend too much time and energy on someone too different except to learn how others live. Never-the-less, I understand you wanting to find out for sure because no one knows "for sure" unless they learn for themselves -- something I had to do myself several times. How do you explain to someone who has never been burned how badly being burned feels?
I provide services to criminals. The truly bad boys have a different mind set than people who have respect for themselves and others. Truly bad boys tend to have the mind set that it is OK (if not "manly") to hurt people emotionally if not financially and physically. They get pleasure from seeing if they can get away with something that they know others consider bad -- how else can they be "bad boys?" Another thing I hope you realize is that people who have been in prison are more prone to serious diseases. There is also the fact that some actions of people are genetic -- much like certain animals act certain ways regardless of how they are raised or even if no other animal was present since birth. Would you want your children to possibly act the way he does?
If I did my math correctly, he was 19 when he was sentenced so he might have been 18 when he did the crime. I do not know this person you are referring to so I can not even guess if he just made poor choices or if he has a definite mind set of being "bad." If he really is "bad," he will use you until you have nothing left to give. He will give you enough pleasure to keep you around because he will get a rush from the attention you show him and because he will get a kick out of taking something that is precious to your step-mom.
What are you hoping to gain? I can feel love for people who do not have similar interests than me, but I have learned I can not think about having a committed relationship with someone unless we have a similar outlook on life. As you gain more experience, you will learn "for sure" what type of person is right for you. Someone that is so different than you will eventually show disrespect for your desires and what you cherish. The more you try to show this type of person love and compassion, the more he will think you are weak and deserve to be treated poorly. Some people like to be treated poorly because it fulfills their internal need to be punished for who knows what.
This is a long explanation as to why I really think you should think about it more. However, you will have to decide for yourself, and I hope that you remain safe in your learning experience regardless of what you decide. 
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| 7/24/2008 1:16:10 PM | Is it okay or should I think about it more??? | |
alicekathleen
Fresno, CA
age: 63
| Run. You can find a good man, trust me. Been there, done that. Waste of your time. You need a life of your
own, travel, get around, develop your interests and character. Next, a man worthy of you will appear... trust me,
trust the universe, trust yourself..
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| 7/24/2008 3:37:40 PM | Is it okay or should I think about it more??? | |
blondie1946
Lockhart, TX
age: 62
| Listen to your Step-mom. Follow your dreams and work toward your career.
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| 7/24/2008 5:53:03 PM | Is it okay or should I think about it more??? | |
florida_gardens
North Port, FL
age: 56
| PLEASE stay away from him! I have been addicted to bad boys since I can remember. I've been hurt time and time again, because of it. Five years is a long sentence for stealing a car. Do you know that's what it was, or is that what he told you? He probably had a juvenile rap sheet a mile long as well.
Please be smart, and get away from him. You can't save him, and that's what it sounds like you want to do. He'll just drag you down with him.
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| 7/24/2008 6:16:00 PM | Is it okay or should I think about it more??? | |
lefty74
Cincinnati, OH
age: 34
| Do you right now!!!! Study more he is a distraction and you will regret it later..What can he possibly possess that has you so hyped.....Not to judge because of his record but he is a conflict right now. Listen stay away from him.
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| 7/24/2008 6:55:02 PM | Is it okay or should I think about it more??? | |
scruffbutt
Saint Paul, MN
age: 48
| huuh...never heard of 5 yrs for car theft.....mustve been at gun point....somethin more severe that what hes tellin you....do a background check.....jmo
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| 7/25/2008 7:40:07 PM | Is it okay or should I think about it more??? | |
monique08
Arlington, TX
age: 18
| Thanks for all of your advise....
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| 7/25/2008 9:30:27 PM | Is it okay or should I think about it more??? | |
mmaru
Erie, PA
age: 24 online now!
| Mothers have a very special sense about people. If your step-mother doesn't like the idea of you being with this guy, I'd say that's a good sign there that you might want to avoid him.
I don't think it would do any harm to go on a couple dates, but I'd suggest keeping it casual. There are several things you listed that conflict with what you need in a partner, and it's a bad idea to ever enter into a relationship hoping that the person will change. My mother once told me never to date a man unless I could see myself marrying him. Is he the sort of guy you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with? Just a few thoughts - hope it helps!
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| 7/25/2008 9:48:19 PM | Is it okay or should I think about it more??? | |
monique08
Arlington, TX
age: 18
| Mothers have a very special sense about people. If your step-mother doesn't like the idea of you being with this guy, I'd say that's a good sign there that you might want to avoid him.
I don't think it would do any harm to go on a couple dates, but I'd suggest keeping it casual. There are several things you listed that conflict with what you need in a partner, and it's a bad idea to ever enter into a relationship hoping that the person will change. My mother once told me never to date a man unless I could see myself marrying him. Is he the sort of guy you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with? Just a few thoughts - hope it helps!
I guess that's where I am stuck at I don't know what sort of guy I could see me spending the rest of my life with and I wish I did.. I guess I am thinking so hard about this because I want someone to show me that kinda love and he seems and acts as if he is willing and I guess I am scared to let that go and never have it again.. I know I am insecure and that all I want is love but it's hard looking for it and I guess I am willing to settle..
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| 7/25/2008 10:37:06 PM | Is it okay or should I think about it more??? | |
duluthlover
Hutchinson, MN
age: 33
| Big Red Flag!!! Run don't walk away from this man. My gut tells me that this is not a good one and you deserve better. Trust me honey, I have had two bad ones and I know when bad is bad.
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| 7/25/2008 11:13:44 PM | Is it okay or should I think about it more??? | |
linzilation
Petaluma, CA
age: 23
| i agree. i actually dated someone who went to jail and my mom didnt want me to. she thought it was all bad and i didnt listen to her....it was all bad and he has actually died since i dated him. he overdosed and wasnt found for 2 days. it was jut a bad experience...run and run fast...dont settle and dont look back...you will find someone it just might take some time.
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| 7/26/2008 6:16:16 AM | Is it okay or should I think about it more??? | |
maxlite777
Louisville, KY
age: 60
| skipjoe: Excellent insight! Your response to this thread will no doubt help
alot of people...This is why I love these forums...It always seems that just at
the right time some Great advise given to someone else also helps you.
Thanks
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