| 9/1/2008 3:03:45 PM | The Value of a Drink :) | |
anne654
Springfield, MO
age: 54
| Remember to read the WARNINGS as well.........
The Value of a Drink
'Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'
~ Jack Handy
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties.
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'I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. '
~ Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.'
~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence ? I think not.'
~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!'
~ Brian O'Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.'
~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza.'
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin , of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:
'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells . Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells . But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'
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| 9/1/2008 3:05:24 PM | The Value of a Drink :) | |
dasanii
Bad Axe, MI
age: 51
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| 9/1/2008 3:07:09 PM | The Value of a Drink :) | |
ellyrockaway
Rockaway Beach, MO
age: 57
| To drink or not to drink, is that the question? 
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| 9/1/2008 3:55:58 PM | The Value of a Drink :) | |
anne654
Springfield, MO
age: 54
| For me it would probably be not drink, I occasionally have a sip or two of my homemade kahlua, but even that is rare. This was just something a friend sent me by email and thought I would share it for the humor in it!
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| 9/1/2008 3:58:36 PM | The Value of a Drink :) | |
southerbbell
Lake Havasu City, AZ
age: 64
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| 9/1/2008 4:04:10 PM | The Value of a Drink :) | |
msdmarie
Brunswick, GA
age: 55
| Do you mean I can get smarter just by drinking beer? I'm off to the convenience store for a 12 pack!
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| 9/1/2008 4:07:10 PM | The Value of a Drink :) | |
nabybrat1057
Douglasville, GA
age: 51
| I heard that Tequila makes clothes fall off!!!
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| 9/1/2008 4:24:46 PM | The Value of a Drink :) | |
3crosses
El Paso, TX
age: 52
| Thank You Anne
You just reinforced my morals
I will drink beer and go to heaven
Tequila does make my clothes fall off-thats why I don't drink it.
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| 9/1/2008 4:37:10 PM | The Value of a Drink :) | |
yellowgold
Homosassa, FL
age: 49
| In heaven there is no beer thats why we drink it here, cheers!
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| 9/1/2008 4:41:09 PM | The Value of a Drink :) | |
forestrose
Calgary, AB
age: 55
| Funny, as well as some of the replies! Too much alcohol makes me think I am sexy and in love - usually neither when I sober up.
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| 9/1/2008 4:44:09 PM | The Value of a Drink :) | |
soullygrounded
Seven Springs, NC
age: 53
| 3crosses, forestrose - a big 10-4 to that  Now I limit myself to 2 beers and no hard stuff (pun not intended)
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| 9/1/2008 4:48:11 PM | The Value of a Drink :) | |
bigblueeyes511
Hampton, GA
age: 54
| I used to drink in my younger years, but as I have gotten older, I don't.
It just isn't important anymore and I can have a lot more fun without one.
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| 9/1/2008 4:50:22 PM | The Value of a Drink :) | |
ellyrockaway
Rockaway Beach, MO
age: 57
| Funny, as well as some of the replies! Too much alcohol makes me think I am sexy and in love - usually neither when I sober up.
I loved that one!
And hey! men, don't all the girls get prettier at closing time!
(Dang! I just realized that's Amber off the Young and The Restless, oh how funny!)
[Edited 9/1/2008 4:52:30 PM]
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| 9/1/2008 4:53:22 PM | The Value of a Drink :) | |
whiteoak3
Warren, AR
age: 52
| Pleeeeezzzz Anne ! Don't remind me! my head still huuurts! course it was a Loooooong time ago!!!
[Edited 9/1/2008 4:54:19 PM]
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| 9/1/2008 4:57:57 PM | The Value of a Drink :) | |
cobiaman
Homosassa, FL
age: 65
| I don't drink anymore! Come to think of it, I don't drink any less either!
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