Forums: Relationships: Help, not sure what to think
9/8/2007 6:00:05 PMHelp, not sure what to think 

terrib
Aberdeen, SD
age: 49

I met a great guy and we have had a great long distance relationship for the last 2 months. Here is my problem. I have been visiting for the last week and he said to make myself at home...as if it were mine. So I have been cleaning and tiding up his house and I ran across a garbage bag of his old girlfriends clothes/ prefume/ handcuffs/ panties and lots of I love you cards and notes. He told me they were just friends and co-workers. Now I now that's not true. They were definately lovers. I am not sure what to think. It has been 4 yrs since they were together according to the dates but why would he keep them this long. Should I be concerned?

9/8/2007 7:06:13 PMHelp, not sure what to think 

justaguyhere
Martinsville, VA
age: 56

no you should not be concern hes with you not the past girl friends

9/8/2007 7:09:16 PMHelp, not sure what to think 

shycowgirl
Oak Run, CA
age: 50

naw, don't worry. most men are packrats. LOL

9/8/2007 7:22:56 PMHelp, not sure what to think 

thepkk
Everton, MO
age: 53

I wouldn't worry a bit. We all have ex's and like you said they were in the trash bag. Good place for them I think.

9/8/2007 7:25:58 PMHelp, not sure what to think 

osipsc
Chicago, IL
age: 54

I think the "gargabge bag" defines itself. He may have just forgotten to toss it.

Pam

9/8/2007 7:29:05 PMHelp, not sure what to think 

peaches73036
El Reno, OK
age: 41

Some ppl just keep a few things like that for memories or w/e but, i know they do, I wouldn't take it personally or worry to much except that he said they were just "friends". good luck.
xoxoPeaches.

9/8/2007 7:32:26 PMHelp, not sure what to think 

missmatch
Cleveland, TN
age: 51

if he were looking at them while you were together, then that might be a worry, lol

take it as a good sign he's ready to move on since he trashed the stuff...which translates: good for YOU!

9/10/2007 9:24:25 AMHelp, not sure what to think 

terrib
Aberdeen, SD
age: 49

Thanks everybody....you were right. After confronting him about it, he admitted he was just a packrat and forgot all about it. He then took the entire garbage bag and took it directly to the city dump and threw it. There was even some jewelry in it from a expensive jewelry store and he threw that in the garbage also. Right then and there I knew he was my man only. My hope tho is for some nice person to find the jewelry and give it to some wonderful women.

I met a man from this site in May and dated for 2 wks. He then wanted to move in permanently with me and when I told him I didn't want to date anymore, he threatened to "get even with me". Needless to say I was so scared; especially when I found out he had a bad temper and was in trouble with the law for assault. He seemed so nice at first. But what started to give him away was he kept saying "I'm not even angry about the past and when he would talk to his daughter he would say that even though we went out for the evening "I didn't even drink". To me those were dead give aways he had problems in the past with drinking and anger. So my advice for women out there is never be too trusting and listen very careful to what they say.

However, I gave another man a chance and he has turned out to be the most wonderful man...just what I have been looking for. So life is Great but I still believe that trust must be earned and not just given away.
Thanks again for your advice.....you were all right!

9/10/2007 12:15:46 PMHelp, not sure what to think 

scndlman
Lexington, KY
age: 34

i'd look in the basement for fresh concrete or soft dirt ...maybe she's still there...lolal

9/10/2007 6:23:56 PMHelp, not sure what to think 

b4thebest
Port Charlotte, FL
age: 39

I was thinking he had a boat and just dropped the chains hooked to concrete blocks

9/10/2007 6:56:01 PMHelp, not sure what to think 

cutemami25
Los Angeles, CA
age: 26

shouldn'r bother u if u found it in the trash.. obviously it's in the past

9/10/2007 7:10:25 PMHelp, not sure what to think 

soultrynights
San Clemente, CA
age: 39

i think that it shouldnt ruin your relationship, but , i wouldnt like my chick to have pics and sex antics, of a past relationships . it just doesnt look good in my book. but to each their own

9/10/2007 7:15:44 PMHelp, not sure what to think 

dreamy4u
Fort Lauderdale, FL
age: 40

I think the GARBAGE BAGS should be a hint,if he had anything to hide he wouldn't tell you to make yourself at home,that might have been the last or her stuff she didn't pick up,ask him about it.

9/10/2007 7:19:48 PMHelp, not sure what to think 

lovejoy234
Potomac, MD
age: 26

girl men are like woman we think were the only ones that get hurt but they do to..oviously he hasnt gotten over her and for him to keep her things arround just proves it..yet it doesnt mean he isnt ready to move on with you
he just needs the time to mend his heart and he will throw it out in time. apart of him just needs closure. so give him time and in the meantime just show that your the better woman for him in every sence of the word. yet if you feel in your gud that his lying trust it..yet dont screw up a good thing just because your use to being hurt and you think men are all the same. men are like stray dogs you feed him well and hell keep on coming back..have a great day