did you get to say goodbye 61

12/11/2008 10:17:23 AM	did you get to say goodbye
weaimtoplease Donalsonville, GA age: 60	My husband was in Hospice House when he died and the nurses told me that sometimes it eases their passing if you tell them its ok. They had me tell my husband that I forgave him for the mental, emotional and physical abuse. I don't advise doing that unless you mean it because it took me months to forgive myself for lieing to him as he was dieing. Yes, it might have eased his passing but it tore me up. Meet singles in your area here at DateHookup.com, we're 100% free for everything! Join now!
12/15/2008 1:56:56 PM	did you get to say goodbye
amberose1 McMinnville, OR age: 53	I never got to say good bye , i,m sorry nothing, my husband and I were having a pissy little argument{ over his drinking } when he put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger..o the horror of it all, I,ll never be the same, counceling does not seem to help, maybe with time, we were best friends and partners for 8 pretty great years , til his job of 17 years ended then depression and alcohol took effect
12/16/2008 8:18:23 AM	did you get to say goodbye
justakidat60 Zachary, LA age: 62	My wife went through so many medical problems from 2000 until June 11, 2008 that it was almost a blessing when she finally gave up. She was diabetic and had heart problems. She lost her right leg due to a lack of circulation and later in 2007, she found out that she had breast cancer. She went through six months of chemo and surgery,and we thought that she had beaten the cancer. Six weeks later she went into congestive heart failure and had to have a trile bypass. In Mar. 200d she found out that the breast cancer had matastisized to her liver and several spots. She again went through chemo, but the drugs used just made her so weak that she slept most of the thime. Further test showed that the drugs were not affective. She came home from the hospital and within a week and a half she was gone. She was surrounded by all the peopls that she loved and I was holding her hand when she passed away. Saying good-bye to her was the hardest thing I have ever done. I also lost my mother less than four months later and I was there holding her hand and I was able to say good-bye to her too. In both instances telling them it was alright to go, I hope, made it easier for them to let go. [Edited 12/16/2008 8:20:43 AM PST]
12/18/2008 8:12:04 AM	did you get to say goodbye
joyga1 Austell, GA age: 63	I was by my husband's side thru out all his cancer care. It was hard, but we had a glimmer of hope. Always, that he would be the one to make it. He told me everyday that he loved me. He died in hospice, and his grandmother, his aunt and myself telling him how much we loved him. It was so hard to see him go, but finally, I was glad that he didnt have to suffer anymore. I miss him every day. It is hard but life goes on. This december 23rd would have been our anniversary. Making it through the holidays is rough. He passed away at 5.09p on sunday in november. It was 2 years ago. Life does get easier, but the pain comes and goes. and I know what it is like to be alone. Yes, I got to say goodbye and I am grateful for that.
12/19/2008 11:56:16 PM	did you get to say goodbye
goofygrama Pensacola, FL age: 45	Im so grateful that I can say yes I did. We lived together for about 5 years. I gave him a son in dec 2004. In march 2005 the cancer was found. We did the chemo thing after emergency surgery to remove the grapefruit size mass from his colon. After 8 months labwork was really good each time. Summer of 2006, exploratory surgery found another grapefruit sized mass. Couldnt remove this one, too many adhesions. Was told we had less than 1 year to enjoy ever minute of it. Got admitted to Hospice later that year(oct or nov). Kept him at home entire time. Dec 2006 our son turned 2. Jan of 2007 he said it was time we got married. March 2nd 2007 he passed. I took FMLA starting the beginning of feb `07. I took care of him by myself as he wanted me to. The night he passed, we were lying in bed. He hadnt moved or spoken for 3 days. He shook his arm and groaned, I put my hand in his and told him again how much I loved him and that I would be alright, he settled down then 20 minutes later he took his last breath. We were still holding hands. Our son just turned 4 and still cries for his daddy and tells me how much he loves and misses his daddy. Still says "I want daddy to come back from Gods house. I want to hug him" We just sit and hold each other and sometimes cry a little together. Then we say "one day we will see daddy again"
12/23/2008 10:32:41 AM	did you get to say goodbye
ramblinon00 Jamestown, TN age: 58	yes..and it was the hardest damned thing i've ever done in my life.. I lost my wife of 8 years last september at home..i was doing CPR on her when she passed..I live in the country and it took the ambulance about 40 minutes to get here..by then it was to late.
12/24/2008 3:39:44 PM	did you get to say goodbye
motallwoman Lebanon, MO age: 41	like most people i didnt get a chance to say good bye tell him that i love him or anything for i was at work he hung his selfi get a call at work telling me to go home emergancy and that is when i got the news and i miss him my first christmas with out him
12/24/2008 7:14:43 PM	did you get to say goodbye
larball Sherrill, NY age: 42	nope not til 3 and a half years later...about 2 months ago
1/28/2009 7:23:53 PM	did you get to say goodbye
kitty2u Clay City, IN age: 68	Yes. I did get to say good bye. My husband of 47 years passed out one day, as he was working. It turned out to be lung cancer. While in the hosptial, they found out he also had cancer on the brain. They did do surgery on the brain and he came out of that in good shape. The lung had a tumor so large that it was pressing on his vital organs tho. He did decide to fight it with chemo and radiation. Later he just couldn't fight it no more. He was so weak and burned out from radiation that he wanted to stop all treatments. He decide to go with Hospise and die at home. I'm so glad I was agreeable to this now. It was the last thing I could do for him, as he got weaker and weaker. There at last, Hospice sent in RN's for the last 24 hrs. of his life. He was unconcious, They told me to talk to him just as if he could hear me, and to talk about good memories we had shared together. I did tell him it was alright to go. The second time I told him this, he died in my arms. Yes it was very sad and hard to go threw. It wasn't alright that he went tho. I said it because I wanted him to have peace at the end. One year later, I did go to work for Hospice doing volenteer work, watching patients while the caregivers or spouse, ran errands. It has been fullfilling, knowing if I can help someone else, with what I have been threw myself, that I have done what is right in Gods sight. Somehow it helps.
1/29/2009 3:42:48 PM	did you get to say goodbye
pjboring Delaware, OH age: 48	no i never got to say good bye.I went to work and he was going hunting. I called him when I got there as I always did. told him I loved him and see him tonight. But got the call that he was gone.11/4/06 is a day I will never forget
1/29/2009 8:03:47 PM	did you get to say goodbye
chat_girl Desoto, TX age: 48	No, he was atruck driver, I saw him off sunday night jan. 25 1998 and he never came home. He died in his truck jan.27, 1998 saving someone elses life.
1/29/2009 9:52:21 PM	did you get to say goodbye
luvallnurses Durant, OK age: 55	Quote from weaimtoplease: My husband was in Hospice House when he died and the nurses told me that sometimes it eases their passing if you tell them its ok. They had me tell my husband that I forgave him for the mental, emotional and physical abuse. I don't advise doing that unless you mean it because it took me months to forgive myself for lieing to him as he was dieing. Yes, it might have eased his passing but it tore me up. . Ahh weaim I am so sorry...you are a good woman and did not deserve that kind of life.. No it was sudden and I did not get the chance to say goodbye...he had a Pulmonary Embolism (bloodclot to the lung)...I was not a nurse then and even if I had been the signs and symptoms were so like a heart attack that I thought that he was having a heart attack...
1/30/2009 4:16:31 PM	did you get to say goodbye
fishing_with_da Charlotte, NC age: 58	Yes I did she was at home with both kids a spouses. I talked toher the day before she went to into a deep sleep and we said that we loved each other. The kids and I were making small talk when the alarm went off at 3:00 AM ( we were at her bidside) and we made the remark that it was time for Mom's fix ( I was giving her liquid morfine her drug of choice) she sat up in bed laughed and then layed down and passed away. I feel that she was with us the whole time and wated for us to let her go. I can only hope that I face death with the courage that Carol did.
1/30/2009 7:55:40 PM	did you get to say goodbye
luvallnurses Durant, OK age: 55	fishingwith that is beautiful that you and the children were able to be with her and give her comfort and peace so that she could pass with ease of mind and spirit...
1/30/2009 8:23:47 PM	did you get to say goodbye
yelserp Midlothian, VA age: 53	no i didnt., my wife was told in 2005 she had CHF,heart failure, was in and out of the hospital for the next couple of years..... then i called them up one day because she was dyeing befor my eyes....that was on a friday..... in a few days they found her a heart and monday she had a heart transplant.....stay in the hospital for a month due to a few complications, then she got out... i was sooooo....happy , she was doing so well... then 7 months later i put her back in on a monday and she died that friday....and i said to myself why didnt i go first...thats what i wanted anyway... so now iam alone and i know i did my best to take care of her and i miss her so much... her name was GAIL
1/31/2009 9:24:54 AM	did you get to say goodbye
nygel Florence, OR age: 56	I wish I had a chance for a month, a week, a day, an hour, a minute to say goodbye. My wife had an artificial heart valve to repair the problem caused by her drunk of a natural mother. She had been adopted by a very loving couple that could have no children. As a child when the heart defect was found the adoption agency actually had the adacity of asking her new parents if they wanted to choose a healthier child in stead; They said no, of course and raised the sweetest girl I ever met. She was a keeper, bad heart and all and I knew it from our first meeting; Her adoptive parents raised a keeper that we couldn't keep. We stayed together for more than a year and realized that we were made for each other so with no question at all we were happilly married on Oct.26, of 1984. She was doing well, working painting wedding albums - a true artist with a brush - when one day after we had both gotten home from work she passed on. A friend came by and needed a ride to pick up his car so off I went. I was only gone for the length of a song on the radio but when I returned home I could find her nowhere in the house; Her car was home, the doors were unlocked? As I went back to the kitchen there she was on the floor behind the butcher block. I hurried to her to find no breath, no pulse, and discoloration had already started. After starting CPR I knocked the phone off the hook, dialed 911 and kept up with CPR. She coughed one cough and I thought I was going to get her back but she wasn't breathing on her own so I kept up the CPR. It seemed like hours, though it was not, before help arrived. There was no pulse, they saw that I was exhausted and took over immediately. Later we found out it was blood cloting around the artificial heart valve and nothing short of immediate surgery would have helped. There was nothing they could have done; she was gone. There simply was not any normal way to achieve blod flow. We took her to the hospital where she was officially pronounced dead at which time all I could do was close her eyes. I died that day too, I just didn't get to go where she is, I'm still here without her and it's been over 25 years and to be honest, nobody has even come close since then
1/31/2009 11:59:09 AM	did you get to say goodbye
justpeachiekeen Conyers, GA age: 45	No, I didnt, reading these threads is just a reminder of how you will never get over it. I mean, I think sometimes that I have finally put it all behind me, then again, it hits me like a ton of bricks. I am so sorry if you all still feel the pain. Will it ever end?
2/7/2009 5:54:46 PM	did you get to say goodbye
nurse3497 Odenville, AL age: 56	My husband was diagnosis with cancer at the of 2004 stomach the worst. He had surgery in hospital for a month. When he came home he would have these sweat episodes, looked like someone poured water on him. I started givng him IV fluids at home. He could always tell when he needed it. The doc said that was the only thing kept him from having to go in and out of the hospital. He got sick, went to the doc they operated that night. Said they got it all again. He was doing good then developed ARDS a hardening of the lungs. Back in ICU on the vent. Stated in hospital over a month. He came off the vent throwing up and with hiccups. They couldn't get it under control. I was the direcotor of nursing at a rehab and part nursing home. He had to go somewhere for therapy. He was on TPN which I couldn't stay home with him. He just got worst. A week before died he ask me not to be mad at him but he couldn't go on like this. He told me he has always loved me and would miss me and the kids. I told him I loved him and it was ok my heart breaking. He died that Saturday, I sure do miss him. I was with him but stepped outside for a minute when I came back he was gone, my sister was there.
2/14/2009 8:18:09 PM	did you get to say goodbye
ditzyblond53 Oquawka, IL age: 56	"My gawd Mom I think Dad has died" That's what my daughter hollered from the bedroom door as we all rushed to the bedroom. He wasn't breathing. I put my ear to his chest and it beat in my ear. I was in a panic even though we knew today was the day... but I wasn't ready. I did all the right things and gave him mouth to mouth...I just wasn't ready for him to go. This kids pulled me from him and said, "Mom it's time to let Daddy go". I put my ear to his chest again and his heart beat it's last beats into my ear... he was gone. Hal had cancer. We opted for in-home hospice to help him go gracefully at home surrounded by his kids. We had to be with him for every day that we could. We only knew for a short time that he was even sick. He and I talked and cried for weeks getting ready for the day. It wasn't even real to us. About 3 weeks before he died he said, "This is really going to happen isn't it? Well then let's just get on with it because the pain is not worth it anymore". I guess that is when we said good-by because he begged for meds constantly from that point til we just knew to keep him comfortable.
2/19/2009 8:33:23 PM	did you get to say goodbye
dogmom52 Friendship, WI age: 53	I had 14 months to say goodbye but it was like he did not want to hear it He was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and it was as he never accepted the fact that it would take him from us.Even the last night i spent with him knowing he would not be there in the morning he just kept pushing me away and told me not to touch him. It had been such an exausting 14 months for me i just could not deal with it that night so i gave him his morphine and went to sleep when i woke up he was gone.I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that i wasn,t awake maybe that was the way he wanted it i dont know After 32 years i just wanted to hold him and let him know it was okay but he did not allow me to do that.
2/19/2009 9:52:09 PM	did you get to say goodbye
battkitty Sarasota, FL age: 52	I had to tell my husband Marc 3 times that not making it was a possibility. The third and final time I finally got the strength to ask where he wanted to be buried or if he wanted to be cremated. I told him that I never imagined that he would go first (he was 5 years younger and we thought in better shape) but that it was ok. He would just go out into the universe and wait for me - that after 20 years with me he was used to waiting. He gave me the saddest smile that I have ever seen on another person and we both knew it was coming. He was 42 years old and had had 5 heart attacks. He was on the heart transplant list but the machine that had taken the place of his heart contracted an infection so a transplant wasn't a possibility. He went into a coma on August 9th, 2003 and I disconnected his life support - per his wishes. When this was done I layed my head on his shoulder whispering in his ear until he was gone. Everyone in the room was crying - except for me. I was in shock and stayed that way for a long time. It was "til death do us part" and I am grateful for the 20 years I had with him. I am very fortunate - there really wasn't anything left unsaid or unsettled between us. I know for a lot of people that isn't always the case. It was 44 days total from the time he told me he didn't feel good until he was gone. Thank you for reading this... I have moved on in my life but I still like people to know what a terrific guy he was. Terri
2/20/2009 11:40:54 AM	did you get to say goodbye
gailstorm1947 Groveland, MA age: 62	No I did not get to say good bye. He was in the yard trimming the trees. I went to check on him and the door to our house was open the tools were still in the yard and not like him to leave them. I came back into the house and could hear water running I called out his name are you ok no answer, I opened the door to find him with all cold water running on him half way in and half way out of the shower. It is now going on three years still feels like yesterday. I lost my husband and my best friend half of me is gone.
2/22/2009 8:22:26 AM	did you get to say goodbye
djmh52 Russellville, AL age: 57	I got to say I love you, My Jim was at the hospital for testing, and when they put him in wheelchair he said to me that he could not see anything. Then he said "You know I love you,right?" I looked at him and his forehead was black& I said yes & you know I love you too,right? and he said yes . That was the last thing he said and they called a code on him in the lobby of the hospital.It has been a year yesterday(Feb.21,2008) and I miss him as bad today as I did then,but I know he is in a better place waiting for me,I can't listen to that song---"Waitin' on a Woman" without crying.He had a blood clot the year before and doc thought they had dissolved it completely,but he had to sell motorcycle cause doc would not let him ride any more.I like to think he is riding now all he wants. He watches out for me too, his friends come and get me & have told me that he told them when he sold bike to not let me be alone too long.So I now keep helmet and leathers in my truck in case one of them offers a ride.We worked together(boilermakers),we traveled all over the lower 48 for work, and lived in a travel trailer for the last 9 years we were married,some people say that that was way to much togetherness, but I would give anything to have one more day of it.
2/22/2009 11:01:09 AM	did you get to say goodbye
61sunshine North Augusta, SC age: 63	My first husband had a massive heart attack on Christmas Eve 1994. I thought I was just taking him to the ER to get a cathera and we were going home to enjoy the holiday. Instead he never came home. When he crashed they pushed me out of the room and that was it. The funeral director suggested I write Ed a letter letting him know my feelings. This was placed in his suit pocket and went to heaven with him. Second hubby died Dec. 28 just 2 days before our 9th anniversary. He was in ICU 28 days, part of the time on a resperator. I talked to him even when he couldn't talk back. I know he knew how much I loved him and would miss him.
2/22/2009 6:42:15 PM	did you get to say goodbye
azureeyes08 Duxbury, MA age: 45	She was sick for three years. I cared for her at home nearly exclusively as I had many nurses and family members who were nurses and arranged it. She died at home with me, in my arms, surrounded by family and friends. She got to say good bye to everyone.
2/26/2009 10:53:44 PM	did you get to say goodbye
bonnie1956 Sioux Falls, SD age: 54	No.. because I thought we would be comming back home from the hospital just like all the other times. My husband had several procedures done over the last several years of our 26 year marraige. Both Hips replaced about 5 years apart and open heart surgery only 8 months before last hip replacement. So I was used to spending time in hospitals..I always camped out right in his room with him.. I would bring a bag of "to do" stuff along. So after his last hip replacement check up.. they saw a shadow in his groin. Didnt know what it was.. Sent him home on Thur. That next Sat. morning he was getting ready for the day and sat on the edge of the bed and felt a pop. He made it out to the kitchen and sat. We were trying to figure out what it was and what to do. I started gathering my to do bag while he decided what he thought it was.. Head for the hospital?? ok.. I went to get the car and then he couldnt move from the kitchen chair.. So I called 911 and we waited for the ambulance. I was going to follow in the car because we would need it for getting home right! They loaded him up and said they would head for Sioux Falls.. but they would meet a SF ambulance half way up for help. They pulled over at the Viborg exit and waited for help.. I sat behind them just wondering what was happening..Praying.. Finally they started up again.. At the emergency room I found out that they had lost him at that exit with a pulmunary embolism. It was March 31, 2001..They asked if I wanted an autopsy?? No.. why? It wouldn't bring him back! I probably should have in hindsight because of that shadow that was passed by.. but I'm not that type of person anyway! And so the next day.. I kept waiting for someone to Shout April Fools!! Never happened! So if you get to know me and read my posts.. you will see I write poems when Im moved to do so.. And thats what I did for his funeral! I was not able to read it myself.. but the pastor did a fantastic job of it and I guess thats how I said my goodbye..
3/1/2009 4:13:46 PM	did you get to say goodbye
swflhoney Bradenton, FL age: 55	Yes, I was able to say goodbye to both my second and last husband. My second husband, father of my youngest son, died in Hospice April 1998 about two years after he had told me to find someone love and help me with our son. We were married nearly 14 years and at the end of his illness his brother and sister-in-law were in charge of his care. They called me when his time was near so that I could bring the children (his son and my older son and daughter) to say our goodbyes. I had just been remarried to my last husband not quite a year at that time, and was fortunate to have him to lean on during the funeral and after when dealing with a 15yr old boy's hurt and emotions over losing his Dad. My last husband took his final journey August 2007 and it seems like yesterday. We were together 10 yrs and 3mos to the day of our marriage when he went. He too was in Hospice at the end, after trying to work through esophageal cancer which had spread to his stomach and intestines. We tried to keep him at home where he wanted to be, but he was so determined to care for himself and he fell frequently, so I took him back to Hospice. The night he died I had been there all day and his brother had come the day before to see him, so I went back to the house to take care of our pets and get a little rest. They called me a little after 9pm to say he was gone. Even though he couldn't speak for the last week or so, I could see he felt trapped from the look in his eyes so I told him that since his brother had come and we had located his daughter it was ok to go on his journey. At 9pm the rain was pouring down and a huge lightening flash hit with a great roll of thunder. Then the phone rang ... I wasn't alone when I went back because I called my youngest son and he met me there, bringing his older brother and sister with him. My husband had already made all arrangements and the Hospice made the calls. My husband is Native American and has always had a realistic outlook on life and death. We always told each other 'I love you' frequently every day, so I have no regrets. I really do miss him alot, and sometimes feel him in the wind when I'm walking our pets at night. I'm sorry to be so wordy tonight, this is the first time I've been able to talk about this to adults without reservation. My kids are great, but I don't want to burden them with my emotions all the time. I still cry at the drop of a pin, or certain songs on the radio and sometimes think I'm nuts. God bless all of y'all for sharing and allowing me to do the same.
3/4/2009 12:20:01 AM	did you get to say goodbye
leeann4167 Media, PA age: 42	I wasn't married yet, we'd just gotten engaged. We were in an accident he died instantly, I was in a coma by the time I came to He was buried. I never got to say good-bye. The one thing I have is he woke me out of my coma. I heard Carl telling me it was time to get up. We had been down the shore before my world collapsed. When I came to I thought I was still at the hotel. God I feel like shit I thought this would help It's NOT.
3/6/2009 3:40:05 PM	did you get to say goodbye
softpinkowl Eden, NC age: 49	we were together for 12 yrs. he was my world. i was happy with him and my boys. but things happen and we grew apart. he loved drugs a little more than me. i moved away. he got cancer. we kept in touch...my GOD i still loved him! was coming home to see him..promised him i would be there...i always keep my promises....he died the very day i left to see him. didnt say goodbye..didnt tell him one last time i love him. some say he knew.
3/6/2009 7:03:40 PM	did you get to say goodbye
ccvc Dallas, PA age: 52	My wife was sick for 10 years with Addison's Disease and some other things that they could never diagnose. She had been having breathing problems and passing out all over the house for about 8 months and the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong. We would find her on the floor and the doctors told us to lift her legs in the air and she would come to. This must have happened a couple hundred times over the 8 months. She would never remember what she was doing before or what had made her pass out. One morning my son woke me up and said "Dad, Mom's passed out in the bathroom, can you get her up, I have to go get dressed". I got up, went into the bathroom and found her on the floor. I tried to lift her legs but they fell down like jelly. They had never done that before. I found her not breathing. I checked her pulse and couldn't find one so I called 911 and they stayed on the phone and helped by talking me through CPR. It seemed like the Paramedics were there in 2 minutes. I had to leave her and stop CPR to unlock the front door for them. I remember wondering if I should stop CPR or not, but the 911 operator told me to. They came and worked on her for a few minutes and then they asked me if I wanted them to use all measures to try to revive her. I said yes. They took her to the emergency room and told us she was dead a half hour later. Her doctor called a few days later and asked me what she looked like when I found her, and after I described it, she said my wife had most likely been dead for 45 minutes before my son found her and there was nothing I could have done with the CPR. She would get up at 8:30 every morning to take her morning medications. They were in her hand untaken when my son found her. My son must have known something was wrong because he said he knocked them out of her hand all over the floor for some reason when he found her. Anyway. I never got to say goodbye. In fact, I don't even know what the last thing was that I said to her, or she said to me. We just went to bed that night without talking as usual. She would go to sleep early since she wasn't feeling well and then I would come up a few hours later and she'd be asleep. At least I didn't go to bed and wake up in the morning with her dead in our bed. I guess she got up that morning to take her medication and just passed out before taking it, and the next thing she knew she was standing before St. Peter. We never knew she was dying, the doctors never told us she could die from what was happening, she always forgot when she passed out, so she wasn't afraid or gasping for breath or anything. She went peacefully and very unexpectedly.
3/6/2009 7:12:49 PM	did you get to say goodbye
nastexo Charlestown, MA age: 26	no. i was in U.S.A when my husband die and hes family call me and say sorry for your lost.I was marred 9years he die 2007 i feel like i was the one who die. I am only 25. years old and I have three children. i miss him so much but we will survive.
3/9/2009 11:10:03 AM	did you get to say goodbye
mareluna Newport News, VA age: 48	Yes, I was with Dan through all his treatments of chemo, radiation,stereotactic radiosurgery and gamma knife.I was with him at the Hospice House when he passed.I will never forget him.He was so talented and fun to be with.Lung cancer took him at the age of 50.
3/10/2009 5:21:02 PM	did you get to say goodbye
mssunshin Millsboro, DE age: 73	No, my husband went to work at 3a m, came home at noon ate lunch, then said I am going to cut the grass, 35 minutes later I looked out the window to see him on the ground I ran out thinking he was hurt got down on the ground near yelled his name, no answer then I saw blood on his head he had had a heart attack and was gone. That was 9 years ago I have been alone ever since, my children(7 of them ages 37-51) have not been here for me at all since dad died. I have health issues. which put me in hospital 7 times in 2002 and none of my children showed any concern. I am living now with my faith in "God" and doctors help plus I have 2 sisters who do what they for me.It will never be the same for me without him or my children.holidays are lonely I tried to find a friend to spend time with but just hasn't happen,, My lady friends all work and still have their mate to love it really upsets me to hear those that still have love one talk so badly about them I give anything to have my love back or someone special in my life..to you have lost just take one day at time look for the blessing in that each day thats what I have learned to do ms norma 72 delaware
3/12/2009 2:46:04 PM	did you get to say goodbye
scherryberry Billings, MT age: 51	Sadly,no. We lived in the mountains and I had gone down country to see our daughter...Got the horrible phone call to tell me my Frank was dead.He was only 44. That was 4 years ago.I miss him something awful...still talk to him every day,guess it makes me feel better.I'm just now able to join the single human race
3/25/2009 2:07:19 PM	did you get to say goodbye
kyma1963 Davenport, IA age: 46	No. I wasn't given the opportunity to say anything. My late husband passed away suddenly in bed. We had been up talking while lying in bed...I left the bedroom to use the bathroom. Our last words were...mine:" I shall return shortly." He replied, "I'll be here waiting." When I returned to our bedroom not more than 5 minutes later. He had passed. I hadn't realized he had passed until I had gotten into bed and I had started talking and he didn't answer me. His eyes were still slightly open like he was lying there waiting. He was 34yrs. old. I was 33yrs. old. I can still see his face and he's been gone for 11 years now. He passed in 1997. We were very close...high school sweethearts and soul mates. I couldn't bring myself to even think of dating or seeing anyone til 2 yrs. ago. We had 3 daughters that were in their teens when he passed. It was difficult for all of us. No one had the opportunity to say anything let alone "good-bye". I still think of him each day. My oldest grandson,who is 10yrs.old, looks very much like his deceased grandfather. My grandson lives with me, I'm his legal guardian, so I can't help but think of my late husband. I see him every day when I look at my grandson.
3/25/2009 4:22:22 PM	did you get to say goodbye
shesgone Lee, ME age: 55	No, that's one of my regrets from her last day of life. When I left the treatment room at the hospital I was concerned with getting out of their way so that they could treat her. I had no idea that she would be gone in the next hour. It would have been nice to have been able to say goodbye and tell her that I love her one last time. I do rest assured in the fact that she is in heaven with Jesus and I'll see her again. Next time there will never be a parting!!
3/25/2009 4:57:25 PM	did you get to say goodbye
mareluna Newport News, VA age: 48	Kyma, Your post made me cry. I can't imagine what that was like. Sudden loss like that has to be very difficult. I had a year and a half to prepare myself. And I think I was grieving from the moment of the cancer diagnosis on... Your grandson must hold a special place in your heart.
3/25/2009 6:01:45 PM	did you get to say goodbye
farmerdan1 Bringhurst, IN age: 53	Hi all i'm not one to write much but just having a very hard time tonight and have such a heavy heart. I went through a divorce 5 years ago, found a person who i gave my heart totally to 2 years ago. she took her life in my back yard when nobody was home. I couldn't find her and the police found her..i seen her lying in the yard dead i turned to alcohol and got in trouble with that, now i am sitting here at home by myself and nobody to talk to that seems to understand at times what we go through. I was not allowed to go to funeral and she was creamated. i am lost sometimes like tonight , and talking helps a lot. I keep seeing her lying in the yard and can't sleep at night sometimes, like the last 2 nights. I close my eyes and see her just lying there.I have been to a counsler and that helps. i was just devistated she would do something like that. there is no grave to go to to talk to her. Her remains are on a mantle place not here and not by my choice. They say she couldn't have done this by herself. but i know she did, so the case is not ever gonna be closed.This helps a lot to just get it off and talk a little.Thanks for listening cause it seems like i'm not the only one going through rough times, and life threw a curve ball at us that is life changing. i have totally changed my life , for the better . Now how to move fowards is at a loss to me to find another.Kinda cought between the past and future. Life will go on though, just without a piece of my heart.I just having a hard time tonight and am lost and just needed to vent on your loving shoulders thanks Dan
3/25/2009 7:30:47 PM	did you get to say goodbye
harleywidow Johnstown, PA age: 53	Yes I held him in my arms & kissed him goodbye. But even knowing you still are never ready. I told him if my love alone could have saved him he never would have went through it. He died 4 months to the exact day of being diagnosed with lung cancer.
3/25/2009 7:38:53 PM	did you get to say goodbye
sabba1955 Colby, WI age: 54	Dan, I have been in many suspicious spots and most deserved; but moved to a small town from Cal years ago and got the gossip going..I have never been in as tight a spot as you are reporting tho. I did not get to say good bye really either and was not there when..I was at the hospital all day and came home to let the dog out and a break; I got the call a half hour later. No it is not anything like your ordeal! But we each have our own and hopefully somewhere down the road there will be brighter tomorrow! That is all that keeps me going now, just as it did back in the day. Hang in there and be hopefull, especially when at the last straw!
3/25/2009 7:52:18 PM	did you get to say goodbye
sybnann10 Klamath Falls, OR age: 56	I am so sorry for everyone participating in this forum. I lost my husband two years ago, and although I did say goodbye, he was put under by medication and I am not sure til this day if he heard me. He had had a heart attack, from heart disease that sugar diabetes caused. He would never get a checkup, or he may have still been with us. The nurses said he could hear us, but who really knows? I too miss him so much. We were together 25 years.
3/26/2009 12:46:34 AM	did you get to say goodbye
soosie Newport, KY age: 60	My husband died of lung cancer in October of 2003 and the night that he died, his older brother and sister in law and his sister were in the room with him when he died. I did tell him that afternoon that if he had to go that I did not have a problem with it. My niece and I had taken his belongings down to the car because the doctor told me if he made it through the night he would be going to hospice the next morning. As soon as we walked across the parking lot I knew he was gone. Got back to his room and his brother came running out and told me to get in my husbands room. When I got to his room, he had already died about 9:38PM. I think he wanted it like that, but I did get to tell him good bye the night he was laid out and I was in the room with him by myself. You may find this a little weird, but I did hear his voice two nights afte he died and then two years at xmas I heard his voice again. Even though he lost his voice completely, it was definitely him talking to me to let me know he was alright. He was cremated and I have his ashes and I still talk to him and tell him that he is still in my heart and my head and that will never change no matter how long he is gone. We had 25 years together and I miss him like hell. I was angry with God at first, but why couldn't it had been me instead of him. Kiss his picture every night and his urn too and still tell him I love him and until I draw my last breath that will continue to happen. Sorry this is so long, but I just felt that I had to get some of my anger out and it is nice to talk to people who have gone through the same things I have gone through. Nobody will ever replace my Bruce and baby hang in there because we will be together again and you better be waiting for me at the pearly gates with open arms and a big kiss and hug. I love you baby and miss you very much. Thank you all for letting me vent and thank you for this group. So many people don't know what it is like to go through the loss of a spouse until it actually happens to them. THANK YOU SO MUCH AND MY HEART GOES OUT TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT.
3/26/2009 6:16:33 PM	did you get to say goodbye
farmerdan1 Bringhurst, IN age: 53	Hi, Sabba- thanks for your input ...i do try to look for a brighter tomorrow and hope yours is also . sybnann- so sorry dear, i think they still hear us and talk to us in their own way..sometimes i think i don't stop to lisen though in this fast paced world nowdays. i think they are still here helping us in ways we just don't see right now. soosie- Yes i felt angry at everything and everybody for what transpired. but i went through a depression state that is still a wonder that i came out of. If it wasn't for friends like everyone on here..who knows where i would be today. There is times that i wish i could turn back the clock and do things differently. I keep thinking what if..i did this different ..or that different..it drove me about over the edge. I think it made me a little stronger ...in a way that ..i stop and smell the flowers a little more and listen to other people a lot more. There is a shoulder here for anyone to cry on or just vent if they want to. every now and then i know it comes back to give us a heartache to weather through. I just found this thread and it helped to vent the other night and appreciate your shoulder. thanks all
3/26/2009 10:41:22 PM	did you get to say goodbye
connier Nampa, ID age: 62	this really is a good place to be able to share. it has been since Sept. 16, 2006 that my husband of 28 years passed, and yes I still cry because I do miss him so. and it is coming up soon, will be 1 year on June 8th that I again sat with and watched the new man in my life slip away. we only had almost a year together and things were starting to go very good for us. the first few weeks were really hard and even now I still get some very depressed days, but it will get better somehow. I have been learning to not let it get the better of me. we all can only take it one day at a time.. luck to all of you and hang in there. God has a plan for each of us..
4/2/2009 6:00:43 PM	did you get to say goodbye
davsand Pittsburgh, PA age: 44	Yes I did get to say goodbye even if was the hardest thing I ever did. He was sick for a long time having several heart attacks through the years. On Janurary 14th he was having another heart attack, took him to hospital in time and they were able to restent his artery. Dr. told us we had only two options, for him to go home and wait for the end or heart bypass surgery. He opted for the surgery so on Janurary 18th he had a quaddruple bypass. We unable to take him off the ventilator so he never really spoke with me after, was able to write notes for a while. I know he could understand me. Then on Feburary 2, 2006, early in the morning he had an irregular heart beat, and they called me at home to come in. I was able to tell him how much I loved him and that I would be ok, after telling him that he died. Our son was 12 at the time and was also there before his father passed.
4/2/2009 10:53:00 PM	did you get to say goodbye
foxylady2003 East Brookfield, MA age: 65	I took care of my loving twin sister , till she left me and I was laying by her side, I saw this brightest gold light headed straight at me,I started to jump up. When she touched me and said , shuuuu it is God, I got up to put the light on , she was not with me anymore, In 4 years It was really hard to watch her dieing, because we where identical, it was like watch myself die, I did her hair and make up and dressed here up for our family to see, I hated to know she was no longer a part of me, I have been empty since she left, I know she is my angel, she so offten said , I will save a place in the sky for you. I cryed so much , but she never saw my pain. she had her own and at times I had her pain as well, She did show me one thing? Dieing is the easest thing we will ever do, It is the pain we suffer before we die. I see her in many dreams like bronze it seems, other time in flesh, My heart goes out to you all , who have lost anyone of your loves. God Bless
4/3/2009 8:18:41 PM	did you get to say goodbye
mama1977 Sevierville, TN age: 33	I did and talked him through praying with him as he went to the light. He was very sick and I knew it was coming he was done fighting and one of our sons he was 3 spent the entire day in my husbands room that day. That son did not ever sit still that long. He knew his daddy's last day was there and he was going to see his daddy through. He is 4 now and he is a serious mama protector he don't let anything slide. To beat he has a twin and they are so different but, the other was a daddy's boy. I think this one child just knew his mama was gong to NEED him to lean on and the bad thing is I do he is a rock very old sole and sweet boy. They both have a side of their daddy one is very serious no games kinda guy the other is waiting to pull the next prank. My daughter stayed with me alot at the hospital so we all got time for good bye, thank god
4/9/2009 11:02:54 AM	did you get to say goodbye
countrynice New Prague, MN age: 63	No, he went spear icefishing one January day in 1995 and never came home. He was asphyziated by a sunflower heater in his spearhouse on the lake (Minnesota), my son found him the next morning. I had called several of our county authorities that night but all I got was the question about "How was my marriage?" Just what you want to hear when you call for help!
4/9/2009 7:07:54 PM	did you get to say goodbye
rebelyankee Greenwood, SC age: 32	We had a last weekend together with his parents. We all had a wonderful time. We came back, he and I went to bed; he was gone by the time I woke up. He was type 1 diabetic, blind, on dialysis and talked about how much he was hurting and that he didn't want me to be mad at him. That's the last thing I remember. I called 911 since it seemed like his bloodsugar was low. They said he was gone and there was nothing they could do. At the end of this month, we would be married for 2 years. I miss him so much! This site is actually a blessingn because Guitarz said about what I was feeling.
4/9/2009 11:17:08 PM	did you get to say goodbye
bama_lady_42 Tuscumbia, AL age: 43	my husband of 14 years died at work on a Tue. 4 yrs ago. On the Fri. before that he went to dr. and recieved an antibiotic which he had a severe alergic reaction to. by the time he got to hospital the doctor told us that he was lucky he lived. the days that followed was him calling everyone that he cared about and telling them that. On the morning he was killed, he was running late for work. He took the kids to school and called me and we talked all the way till he got there. That afternoon he had an accident and was killed on the job. They were salvaging a barge and a piece of it fell on top of him. I believe that he was meant to leave this earth on that Fri. and God gave him a chance to make peace with his loved ones. I cherished the last few days we had together. would not give nothing for them. So in a way I did get to say goodbye. But it does not make it hurt any less. [Edited 4/9/2009 11:18:57 PM PST]
4/10/2009 3:35:32 PM	did you get to say goodbye
mrandy49 Stone Mountain, GA age: 50	2 days before christmas, my wife had a stroke. She was brain dead before we left the house. It took 24 hours before the state turned off life support. I was there the whole time, but it feels like I didn't say goodbye
4/20/2009 4:48:19 PM	did you get to say goodbye
dawnone Eustis, FL age: 52	Rob died in a motorcycle crash. He was with some buddies up in the mountains of Georgia. He went too wide into the other lane, braked hard and could not get set up to go into the next curve. His bike flipped him into the side of the mountain and then the bike took him out. For years he told me that if he dies he wanted to die riding his bike and he wanted to go instantly. He got his wish. I wish I could talk to him and tell him how sorry I am for stuff. That would help. [Edited 4/20/2009 4:49:02 PM PST]
4/21/2009 1:47:02 PM	did you get to say goodbye
josie52 Galion, OH age: 53	We had only found out he had cancer a month before he died. He had 3 radiation treatments that week, and on the third treatment, the Dr. said he should be in the hospital. He was admitted on Wednesday afternoon. The tumor in his airpassage way was blocking the blood flow to his right arm and it was swollen. We left him in the early evening to go home to eat and get a good nites sleep and up to see him the next morning. Only to find out he had a bad nite, no one called me. He had fluid on his lungs and around his heart. He was in the ICU rooms when I got there. He was awake but not very talkative. I fed him some breakfast they had brought. He layed down after that and stopped breathing while I was sitting there. They came in with a respirator and I had to leave the room. They took me to another room to wait while they worked on him. He never regained conciousness.
4/21/2009 1:48:19 PM	did you get to say goodbye
josie52 Galion, OH age: 53	Dawn, if you want to, talk to him, I'm sure he is listening. You will see him again.
4/21/2009 6:07:30 PM	did you get to say goodbye
zymurgist East Peoria, IL age: 44	no, non of us had that chance, she died unexpectedly at least the day before i when talked to her i did tell her i loved her. 51 is too young to pass on
4/26/2009 8:48:19 PM	did you get to say goodbye
passer_by West Jordan, UT age: 32	No, he got up Sunday morning and went to work. We got into an agrument that morning that I will always regret. I do find comfort in the fact that he still came in the room and told me he loved me before he left. I went to work a few hours later and a detective and head of mine safety came to my work and broke the news. One of the hardest things I ever had to do was tell our son (4 at the time) that his daddy wasn't coming home.
4/27/2009 1:23:08 PM	did you get to say goodbye
posts Bedfordshire United Kingdom age: 58	Why am I here, no idea really. My story is very simple, meet a girl when she was 12yrs old, started dating when she was 15yrs then married her at 17yrs, so far so simple. We went on to have two children and sadly lost another during my wifes pregnancy ( she never really got over this ), last May she was diagnosed with a tumour. Chemo failed to help, in October I was told that her life expectancy was 3-6 months, I made a promise that no matter what happens she would stay at home to the end. My daughter and son helped as much as possible over the last two weeks of my wifes illness, the nurses were brilliant, I still can thank them enough. On a Saturday morning at around 6am I though my wife seemed a bit chilly, 30mins later it dawned on me what had happened, I had kept my promise that she stayed at home to the end, she died still holding my hands and yes I kissed her goodnight when I went to bed, I kissed her for the last time once I knew she had died. I am told its the most rewarding thing to do, care for someone untill the end, maybe its true, however its the hardest thing to do, simply because you know the outcome and theres nothing you can do about it. I had never broken a promise to my wife throughout our time together, we had planned to move to a smaller house in April this year, I am stilling going to move, that is my final promise kept.
5/4/2009 5:10:01 PM	did you get to say goodbye
ladypoet2006 Howell, MI age: 58	yes i did he was very ill i was his caregiver he said im going to the hospital for my last time in the morning but hold me all night so i did and kissed him we said our goodbyes and he died 20 min after arriving at the hospital but we had one last night together
5/10/2009 5:35:39 AM	did you get to say goodbye
ms_lowery Cosby, TN age: 54	Yes, 4 days before he passed,was also the last time he sat up,on the side of the bed, He held me and said,"I love you:,you were a very good wife to me", please forgive me for all the bad things I did to you",he knew it was near,I had forgiven him long ago,(guess he just had to clear everything on his mind.) He accepted Jesus as his Savior about 6 months before he passed........I'm Thankful he did!! That gives me peace..... He died of cancer almost 1 1/2 yrs from the date Dr diagnosed him with it.(Lung cancer)He was home where he wanted to be,He died 4 days later in his sleep,I was by his side. I miss him...sometimes just a small thing will stand out and make me cry....even still Strawberry ice cream was his favorite I still can't hardly watch TV (he had it going constantly!) Certain songs make me burst out crying,only because I wished he'd loved me exclusively..... If someone accidentally says a quote he'd say,it makes me sometimes cry and think of him It's bittersweet....
5/23/2009 4:10:48 PM	did you get to say goodbye
cal52 Houston, TX age: 52	No i didn't .She past away as lay asleep in bed. As i recall that day she had gotten up that morning and went about doing the things she did everyday.Making coffee ect...As it was a very cold morning so i did not get up right away.Unusal things started happening don't know if i was truly a sleep r awake and thought i was hearing things.In any event i wish i would have gotten up with her that morning maybe she would still be here.But when i think back to talks we had three day before which was Thanksgiving day of 07.The kids was off doing thier on thing with thier on families.So she and i had dinner along and i think she tried in her on way to say that she was ready to go.I heard her but i was not listening if u GUY'S know what i mean.She was not a sick woman did not have a heart attack r stroke but her heart just stop.From what the doctor's say it dosen't happen offten but it do happen.We had found out some three yrs ago that she had a weak heart.But was told that if she did the things she was suppose to do she would be fine.I know she did just that so no i did not get to say goodbye or i LOVE U r anything else but goodnite the night before,And i'm mad as he...Byt he way my name is Antonio