| 10/4/2007 6:56:47 PM | Doing the right thing is sooo hard! | |
kittenz
New Philadelphia, OH
age: 51
| Tell me how do I get over a man I've been with for 5 years. I loved him for 2 years before I found out his "I love you" didn't mean he was "in love" with me. Everything else about our relationship was perfect. Great guy, ambitious, funny, affectionate, etc.., then suddenly a month ago we were joking around and I asked him if he wanted out..15 minutes later he came to me and said, yes I do. I said, yes you do, what? He said he wanted out. I couldn't give him what he wanted. I asked him what was that supposed to mean (since we get along great 99% of the time) and...hold onto your hats kids...he wants to have children now. 5 Years ago, he told me he was sure he didn't. Okay and now a little more personal info, he's 37 and I'm 50. I've asked him when he plans to leave and he said, I didn't say I was going to leave you. I think he is basically waiting for me to end it so he won't be the bad guy. (you have to know him, it's really hard for him to be looked at in a negative way by anyone. He wants to do this before he's 40. I told him if he didn't leave me, how was he going to go about finding someone to have children with, where was I supposed to be in the 3 years he's giving himself. He said, oh, I figured we'd be broke up and then I would. I know I'm insane, but I've never had such a all around good guy like him.
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| 10/4/2007 7:16:31 PM | Doing the right thing is sooo hard! | |
chopperbabe
Overland Park, KS
age: 47
| Doesn't sound like a good guy if he is giving you ultimatums. He's playing head games with you so that you can kick him out and the next victim can feel sorry for him that you left him. Hmmmm if it were me I'd say there's the door, no one is forcing you to stay here. 
[Edited 10/4/2007 7:16:57 PM]
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| 10/4/2007 7:17:07 PM | Doing the right thing is sooo hard! | |
gawd
Appleton, WI
age: 53
| Sounds like it time to kick him to the curb and start fending for himself..sorry hun
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| 10/4/2007 7:23:15 PM | Doing the right thing is sooo hard! | |
peaches73036
El Reno, OK
age: 41
| I am truly sorry to hear this happened to you. I totally understand your fear tho, I can't have anymore and often wonder about how a younger man would handle that. I just can't understand why they chose to make you the "bad guy" and force you to end the relationship...Anyone?
xoxoPeaches.
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| 10/4/2007 7:29:37 PM | Doing the right thing is sooo hard! | |
jenn_love
Diamond Bar, CA
age: 21
|  WHAT A JERK!!! I'm so sorry!!
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| 10/4/2007 7:43:10 PM | Doing the right thing is sooo hard! | |
osipsc
Chicago, IL
age: 54
| I agree with chopper... Waiting for you to end it rather than letting you know how he feels and where things stand? Pretty unfair to you..
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| 10/4/2007 7:48:20 PM | Doing the right thing is sooo hard! | |
waytogo51
Prairie Grove, AR
age: 51
| This was not an over night thing for him. He must have wanted kids for some time. Unfair of him to do this to you. I would let him know he needs to make of his mind what he wants and what is more important to him. Having kids at his age or having your love.
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| 10/13/2007 2:04:24 PM | Doing the right thing is sooo hard! | |
fearfree
Parkersburg, WV
age: 46
| People can change. In a healthy relationship they should grow and change together. Sounds like there may have been honesty issues. Maybe he just changed his mind about what he wanted. 5 yrs is a long time, hard to say. For you Kittenz, Let him go, whatever the result, life goes on and it must not have been meant. Look at it as a learning experience and move on. Life is too short to dwell on history. You'll both be fine.
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| 10/13/2007 2:14:03 PM | Doing the right thing is sooo hard! | |
mag11
New Port Richey, FL
age: 39
| Kitten, The thing is also is why if you guys were so tight.I'd ask him why the hell didnt you tell me in the first place that you changed your mind about childen? That makes me wonder if he is hiding anything else from you! Good luck with this one hun. Mike
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| 10/13/2007 5:03:42 PM | Doing the right thing is sooo hard! | |
painter41
Scranton, PA
age: 42
| This dilemma reminds me of the ex bf I had. I was upfront with him regarding not having anymore kids. He was okay with that and we were getting along so great then 2mos later I received a dear jane email, about not being able to settle without having anymore kids. it was not like he didn't have any kids. that was 3yrs ago, today he remains single n looking for that lady that will give him a child. what a pity. LOL
[Edited 10/13/2007 6:03:37 PM]
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| 10/13/2007 5:41:36 PM | Doing the right thing is sooo hard! | |
eroticartist
White Plains, NY
age: 49
| It just doesn't sound like he was being honest with you in the first place. I think he's hiding something (someone else) and he doesn't want to be the one to break and have it on your shoulders
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| 10/13/2007 6:03:10 PM | Doing the right thing is sooo hard! | |
peaches73036
El Reno, OK
age: 41
| Seems to me that some ppl use "kids" as an excuse..I would raise 10 if I could. And if they want kids so bad...There are so many unloved,unwanted children in our world aready..Raise some of them.
xoxoPeaches.
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| 10/13/2007 6:32:57 PM | Doing the right thing is sooo hard! | |
renesant
Madison, AL
age: 49
| 3Apbo peach, kitten i have been going through similar for a couple of years, I agree with chopper boot his as and dont look back,you provide something he cannot for himself.
yes you have good times but if he is voicing outage to you it is because he might not be or want to be faithful if you continue self sacrifice you start self destruction
take care of yourself sweetie.
jmo! ren
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