munky_gurl
Penns Grove, NJ
age: 25
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[Edited 10/7/2007 10:10:55 PM]
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munky_gurl
Penns Grove, NJ
age: 25
| Back to the original thread: my opinion--
It's going to very difficult for a person to date someone whose mother is against the relationship. It doesn't always mean that the person is "attached to the umbilical chord". Unless you hate your mother, her opinion matters. All mother's simply want what's best for their children. Yet, sometimes, mother's try to live through their children what THEY think is best for them. The only thing that mother's can do is teach their children to have good values and respect for others. So, when it comes time for the children to grow up, fall in love, and get married... if the child has kept those values... they will be able to choose to be with a person who they believe will share those same good values with them.
Parents simply have to let their children live their lives and hope, pray, and trust that the person the child picks will truly make them happy. If the child unites with a person who,for whatever reason, fails at making them happy... it is between the two people in the relationship. The child should be able to know that the mother will love them regardless, and would never think less of the child for making a decision that they thought was best even if it went against what the MOTHER thought was best. A child has to live and learn from their OWN decisions, not the mother's. As people get older, their views and goals in life change; but not everyone matures at the same level physically, none the less mentally. Especially in this day in age where our kids are maturing and growing a mile a minute. I know 17 year olds who have gone through more life experiences and can think logically better than most average 40 year olds, and it shows. In the way they act, in the well-thought-out decisions they now make.
All in all, yes, parents decisions are important, sometimes the mother can see things that the child could not see in the person yet. (Hey when you're in love everything the other person does is cute.) Yet, if the two people willing to begin a relationship love each other, respect each other, and are willing to work side by side through it all for their happiness... that's all that matters. A person's decision making abilities are not decided by age, but by maturity and their skills at discovering logical conclusions from what they have individually lived through. Age should not matter... as long as the younger person can act their age/maturity level and not their shoe size.
As for "baggage": I'm sure what was referred to as "baggage" was in reference to a person's past experiences which we indeed carry with us wherever we go. Unless you have amnesia, we remember our past experiences... and if you're smart, learn to use them to help better your future. See, we learn from our past, to mold our present, to make our future decisions that much stronger. What may seem to others as heavy burdens,"baggage"/"problems"... whatever you wanna call it,could very well be light as a feather for others. God won't give us burdens we can't handle, and sometimes if you're blessed enough(like I am with my OWN soldierboi), He just might send you the right person who won't mind helping carry each other's burdens until they are light enough for the both of you. After all... isn't it much easier for two people to push a boulder off the road, than for one single person to try to pull it alone?
♥ SYL ♥
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branes51
Clermont, FL
age: 57
| This may be a little late, but Cattlin, photo didn't "knock down" your thread. He expressed his opinion, period. And I agree again with photo..someone isn't wise because they agree with you. If you don't want someone's opinion then don't ask for it.
I've seen this guy insulted, jumped on and treated pretty shabbily in this forum and from what I see all he's doing is asking questions or expressing opinions designed to get people to see another side.
I repeat, if you don't like the opinions people give you..don't ask for them. yeah, he doesn't use flowery speech and he's not kissing up to anyone, but his opinions are just as valuable as anyone else's and frankly I think he's got a lot on the ball if people would open their closed minds, they'd see that he's trying to stimulate your brain.
The concept is called being a "Devil's Advocate." Taking a contrary position to stimulate thought.
[Edited 10/8/2007 12:31:33 AM]
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nonickname49
Belchertown, MA
age: 58
| First of all: Syl...you say it well..maturity is the core issue. Yes there are
exceptions to the rule...in the days of my parents 10 to 15 years for the man
being older seemed to be the norm. The Large difference in age is an issue
within the lower decades...20 vs 30 vs 50 as maturity levels within
this bracket are at a different developmental stage in our life. As a whole
statistically it shows the chance for failure. That said...we all walk our own
path... follow are own heart...live our own life...and not thru the eyes or
perception of others....it is about choices...individual private choices...
and obviously with choices...comes Consequences....some being better than others.
[Edited 10/8/2007 7:29:58 AM]
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