| 10/8/2007 12:15:10 AM | What ARE Men really good for these days to a woman? | |
branes51
Clermont, FL
age: 56
| I'm looking for serious responses that require serious thought. The more I read these forums the more I get the impression that the only thing we really ARE good for is sex partners when you get bored with BOB. You don't need us to provide for you anymore, you don't need protection, you don't need us to do things for you, what DO you need us for? Or are we really needed at all? I'm not asking this out of anger or negativity, but someone in another thread mentioned that this forum demonstrates the "might of the pink."
That has a lot of different connotations, but let's just use pink as the traditional color of femininity.
I hate to say it and I know I'll get lambasted for it. But what I see on this forum generally is a bunch of lonely, frustrated men prostrating themselves before a small group of females hoping against hope that one of them might select him as her "boy toy."
They advertise their abilities, especially sexual, claim to be Mr. Right, attack any male that even questions a statement by a female and generally act like a bunch of simpering, kiss asses who believe that by taking the female side, women will be attracted to them.
It's frighteningly Amazonian. And I see this increasingly in the entire dating scene. And my recent experiences with two women haven't done anything to convince me otherwise.
I read a lot of profiles on various sites. I've seen so many profiles by women who are independent, financially secure, don't need anything from anyone but want that special "someone" to spend time with...(when she can fit him into her busy schedule). If this isn't a blatant advertisement for a part-time escort/boy toy..what is? An she's usually in her late 40's early 50's with a 30-40 age range requirement.
On every thread in the Sex and Dating forum dealing with performing oral sex, every man, without exception claims to love it and be an expert. If that isn't advertising, what is?
It's like a big class room with a bunch of hands waving.."Pick me, I'll do you like nobody every has."
What DO women really want from a relationship? And please, no trite answers like honesty, failfulness..etc..I mean want do you want us for? What do you expect a man to be? Do you want someone to see once a week? Someone to move in with?
I've seen so many woman who say they're looking for their soulmate. Do they understand that it means someone who is your life partner, married or not? You live together, not see each other when you can fit him/her into your busy schedule?
What hope is there of having a real love relationship when both parties spend most of their time doing something else besides being together? If it's not work, it's kids, family, friends, some other obligation.
I didn't ask to be thrust kicking and screaming into this Twilight Zone called "middle-age dating" but now that I'm here, I'm trying to make some sense of it.
However, I really am beginning to understand why affluent widowers and divorced men go for younger women. The want to feel needed and appreciated, to fill that role of provider again, as well as the sex. But why do older women seem to only want younger men?
I've seen so many women in their 50's who won't date someone their age. Why? Because we can't perform 5 times in a night? I like to consider myself an optimist, but this whole scene is so screwed up that sometimes I feel like just buying a Realdoll and saying, Screw it..it's not worth the headaches.
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| 10/8/2007 4:40:38 AM | What ARE Men really good for these days to a woman? | |
copterdriver
Saint Matthews, SC
age: 55
| REALDOLL? lol, you must be loaded..... hehehe
I always get a kick out of the ones that say we must be friends first... then I go on a date and the first thing they want to do is pull MY pants down... hehehe
I ain't complaining, but really, soul mate, best friend, you get to all that after a couple of drinks or a meal?
The few I've met in person have misrepresented their true intentions, even their pictures were misleading and a few were smokers too. I don't have a problem with smokers but I don't smoke so it can be a difficulty in the long run. I haven't dated a lot of younger women, so I can't comment on that scenario. One that I did date wanted the FWB situation but she was a workaholic so when were we going to have the benefits part? lol
It seems at our advanced age we are just screwed either way ya look at it as far as the dating thing goes. Too old for the fun active ones and too active for the old ones... hehehe There are exceptions of course and I know a few, just really a bucket of worms to try to sort it all out...
Distance is usually a limiting factor for me. I have too many things going on to do a lot of long distance traveling these days.
Copter
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| 10/8/2007 4:53:18 AM | What ARE Men really good for these days to a woman? | |
krupa1
Abilene, TX
age: 40
| Let's see........we deal with thier anxiety and panick attacks. We comfort them as best we can...even when we have no idea what is wrong. We constantly screw up and boost thier egos with our inadvertent stupidities. We put up with thier crazy families. We tell them it is no big deal at "That time of the cycle". We devote our time and energy to thier happiness and hope like Hell we don't get screwed over for it.......screw it.....MAybe I should just take up masterbation!
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| 10/8/2007 4:54:23 AM | What ARE Men really good for these days to a woman? | |
steak_king
Whitmore Lake, MI
age: 51
| Branes, you bring up some valid points. I can't wait to see the female answers. I knew I should've got divorced when I was 40 (Actually 38)
[Edited 10/8/2007 5:15:03 AM]
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| 10/8/2007 5:20:33 AM | What ARE Men really good for these days to a woman? | |
sassyandsmart
Lake Villa, IL
age: 59
| Unfortunately, the male role in our society has become muddled because of the women's movement, sexual liberation, etc. That is not to say that their role has changed, it's just hidden by all the crap our society throws at all of us, male and female alike. As far as I am concerned, and I speak only for myself, a male should be a protector from the harshness this world can at times offer. As an older female, I also feel he should be able to assist in tearing down the walls she has had to build for self-preservation. There are still many wonderful "uses", if you will, for the men in our world. A complement to the things we can not do is one of the big ones. This might sound like a ridiculous need, but I am only 5' tall, and would love to have someone in my life who can reach something for me on the top shelf.
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| 10/8/2007 5:24:49 AM | What ARE Men really good for these days to a woman? | |
steak_king
Whitmore Lake, MI
age: 51
| We reach items at the grocery store all the time sassy and we don't expect to get laid for doing so
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| 10/8/2007 5:30:59 AM | What ARE Men really good for these days to a woman? | |
sassyandsmart
Lake Villa, IL
age: 59
| You are absolutely correct. And my intent is never that direction when I ask for assistance of any sort. Unfortunately, I have found that gentlemen are getting harder and harder to find.
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| 10/8/2007 5:32:37 AM | What ARE Men really good for these days to a woman? | |
steak_king
Whitmore Lake, MI
age: 51
| Switch grocery stores!
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| 10/8/2007 5:39:18 AM | What ARE Men really good for these days to a woman? | |
smiley62
McHenry, IL
age: 45
| You've touched on a lot of great points here and they apply to both sexes. It's difficult from a female point of view also. At this point in our lives, we've got families, careers, commitments, etc., that do keep us busy and sometimes unavailable. Men have this problem too. I don't need a man to provide for me. I would, however, like to find one who is financially secure so I don't have to worry about whether or not money becomes an issue in a relationship. I'm not looking for a meal ticket, I'm looking for a partner. At a certain age, we all carry a lot of baggage into the dating world. The key is to figure out what you can live with and accept. I'm sorry that you've become frustrated with the process. Trust me when I tell you that not all women in this age group are looking for younger men. We're just looking for the one that fits.
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| 10/8/2007 5:40:14 AM | What ARE Men really good for these days to a woman? | |
gawd
Appleton, WI
age: 53
| I was looking for a man that when I looked into his eyes I knew right away that he was the one. this is my list
1. Yes a protector
2. Someone that was easy to get along with (not into drama)
3. Someone that enjoyed simple things in life
4. A man that took the lead and also at times let me lead
5. Not a sports fanatic
5. Thoughtful..
6. Was handy around the house
7. self assured
8. Taller than myself
9. Had a good heart
10.Not self centered
11. Loved to laugh and knows how to enjoy himself
12. Not a heavy drinker
13. Romantic..enjoys candles in the bedroom
14. Can make love not just have sex
15. Can support himself
I can go on and on..
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| 10/8/2007 5:41:57 AM | What ARE Men really good for these days to a woman? | |
smiley62
McHenry, IL
age: 45
| Great list Gawd
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| 10/8/2007 5:45:53 AM | What ARE Men really good for these days to a woman? | |
gawd
Appleton, WI
age: 53
| Well thank you!
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| 10/8/2007 5:50:34 AM | What ARE Men really good for these days to a woman? | |
steak_king
Whitmore Lake, MI
age: 51
| Define a sports fanatic
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| 10/8/2007 6:06:42 AM | What ARE Men really good for these days to a woman? | |
smiley62
McHenry, IL
age: 45
| My definition of sports fanatic: pays for a premium sports package on cable/satelite... wouldn't dream of making plans on a Sunday afternoon (unless it's to watch a game)... spends hours worrying over his fantasy football picks.... I love sports too but sometimes it's just too much!
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| 10/8/2007 6:15:58 AM | What ARE Men really good for these days to a woman? | |
lostinlaughter
Somerville, AL
age: 41
| The first female that posts, I'll make the home while you make the money honey will be branded as a lazy gold digger. If you say you like feeling protected and safe, others will question why you don't feel safe already. Say being a home maker is rewarding and you're always home for your man, you'll get walked on and used for a while, then he'll move on. Say you don't need or want his money you are to independant! Dating or trying to seems to be a lose - lose situation nowadays.
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