advice needed... some of you have the greatest answers

12/3/2008 12:00:54 PM	advice needed... some of you have the greatest answers
melodiousmyster Las Cruces, NM age: 19	He recently told me he doesn't want to rush into things. What does he mean though? ? I am seeing this guy that I have known for a few years. We are both singers and have met through our activities... He introduced himself which made some people take interest in because they found it suspicious. I had a boyfriend at the time and didn't think much of his behavior. He never showed any signs of being interested in me so I never thought he did. Well years passed and I moved for a year then came back and ran into him again. This time no boyfriend. My friend invited me out to hang out solo..never called it a date so I figured it was just catching up...but it always was romantic..but not blatantly romantic to where it was obvious. I developed a crush on him but kept it secret. Kind of like a guilty pleasure. I thought it was great to just hang out with him...why mess it up by scaring him off? I never heard of him dating anyone so I figured there was a reason to that and there would be no exception to me. Well to my surprise...he kissed me one night and it was very sweet and I definitely felt a connection. The next time we met up..he was house sitting and he made dinner for two complete with candle light, a fire and a movie..very romantic. We kissed again but we did not get intimate. I felt very lucky he wasn't one of those guys who tests his limits. Our meetings continued like this. Romantic, sweet, magical, and the connection in my eyes is just too hard to ignore. Well recently in a conversation he expressed how he felt about me, he said just the thought of me seemed to make the day easier. It was sweet...then he followed it with.. I think we should keep things the way they are.. I am in no position to rush things. I was confused what he meant by position...thinking "Is it work? Another girl? Moving? what?" and he said things are perfect the way they are. I don't know why I'm worrying so much. I guess it's because I've been in the situation before where the guy "avoids titles" like gf and bf but uses it as in excuse to not commit to one girl ..where he gets the benefits of a girl friend but I don't get to call myself his one and only. I know I'm girl friend material..and I make a good one too. I am in no rush either and I'm not putting any pressure on him but I cant help but be afraid of being stuck in that in between phase and never getting to that next level. Being the girl who isn't good enough to be the girlfriend can be so draining and painful too. So what's the problem? Share your words of wisdom please Another note...please don't leave rude responses about how this is date hook up and to not share issues blah blah blah. The forums is a place for Discussion..Advice included. I think one should be able to express themselves and ask questions without being persecuted Thank you.
12/3/2008 12:08:20 PM	advice needed... some of you have the greatest answers
bry11ca Irving, TX age: 44	Here's my advice: 1) Talk to him, not us. 2) Tell him how you feel, whatever it may be. 3) Whatever the outcome, it is the right one. Good luck. Bry [Edited 12/3/2008 12:08:35 PM]
12/3/2008 12:09:33 PM	advice needed... some of you have the greatest answers
ilvstlrs New Church, VA age: 37	I was working on my reply, when Bry came up with the perfect one!
12/3/2008 12:40:50 PM	advice needed... some of you have the greatest answers
dragas Platteville, WI age: 43	AH the romantic dinner and only kissing. Sounds like my methodology to seduce a woman. He wants you that's for sure, only wants to know you really "burn" for him. I have used this method to weed out the women who don't really want a boyfriend or just like the idea of being in love with me, not actual love. It does work, take it slow with him and you will get what you want, Drew.
12/3/2008 12:49:20 PM	advice needed... some of you have the greatest answers
allinthedo Tracy, CA age: 30	If neither of you are in a rush to take the next step, continue to enjoy life. Dont let a stressful situation bother you.
12/3/2008 1:12:27 PM	advice needed... some of you have the greatest answers
klassyklown Bakersfield, CA age: 40 online now!	Look at it as his expessing a comfort level and just relax, the more you make of it, the bigger deal it will become. He obviously moves kind of slow and has found a comfort level. Enjoy what you have as it sounds pretty good.
12/3/2008 5:36:28 PM	advice needed... some of you have the greatest answers
optimystk Fort Mohave, AZ age: 48	yet another we are damned if we do and damned if we dont post maybe he is testing you to see if your mature enough for a relationship You know the famous female line friends first and maybe later something more women have ruined it for everyone with all the crap they come up with just ask him if he would like to have sex with you whats the darn problem with that?
12/3/2008 7:23:37 PM	advice needed... some of you have the greatest answers
melodiousmyster Las Cruces, NM age: 19	Because it's not about sex. I'm not looking to have sex with him. Did you even pay attention to what I was saying?
12/3/2008 8:56:40 PM	advice needed... some of you have the greatest answers
texas_okie Laverne, OK age: 42	I did read your post a couple of times so I could understand where you guys are going with this! I do think you two have a good connection going on here, and do think that you may be over analyzing what he said. When he said he wanted to continue the way it was going, well he may have felt that with the great kisses, that things may be progressing a little too quick for you. He is feeling out how you are reacting to him. I would say he comes from good upbringing, and old school teachings.. I say keep the spark glowing with him, and eventually it will become a full blown flame! I enjoyed your thread, and good luck! [Edited 12/3/2008 8:57:32 PM]
12/3/2008 9:59:51 PM	advice needed... some of you have the greatest answers
lorenzom Rio Rancho, NM age: 38	I think we should keep things the way they are.. I am in no position to rush things. I was confused what he meant by position...thinking "Is it work? Another girl? Moving? what?" and he said things are perfect the way they are. I read some of the replies but not all of them. It seems that some are kinda vague or afraid to tell you the truth. I do agree, talk to him about it. He definately has another girl. One that he does not want to or is not quite ready to leave yet. Which means he loves her otherwise he would have had sex with you a long time ago. Yeah he told you things are perfect the way they are because you are a gorgeous young girl and he wants to keep you around just in case. He is stringing you along right now and you need to confront him about it. [Edited 12/3/2008 10:00:10 PM]
12/3/2008 10:01:51 PM	advice needed... some of you have the greatest answers
melodiousmyster Las Cruces, NM age: 19	Thank you, you all have made some good points. I'm very glad to have come here to ask my question. As stated before.. I get the best, honest answers Much appreciated!
12/3/2008 10:03:59 PM	advice needed... some of you have the greatest answers
melodiousmyster Las Cruces, NM age: 19	I read some of the replies but not all of them. It seems that some are kinda vague or afraid to tell you the truth. I do agree, talk to him about it. He definately has another girl. One that he does not want to or is not quite ready to leave yet. Which means he loves her otherwise he would have had sex with you a long time ago. Yeah he told you things are perfect the way they are because you are a gorgeous young girl and he wants to keep you around just in case. He is stringing you along right now and you need to confront him about it." In most cases I would most certainly suspect the same...but in this case.. the thought it almost laughable. But of course I wouldn't be able to solidly prove that. It's more one of those "you have to know him" to know what I mean. Thanks though. [Edited 12/3/2008 10:05:41 PM]
12/3/2008 10:15:36 PM	advice needed... some of you have the greatest answers
lorenzom Rio Rancho, NM age: 38	Well if I am wrong send me an email. I have 2 boys your age and I am witness to the games they play. Its never wrong to be on guard. Protect yourself and confront him about it. If it is one of my boys, I will hold him down for you. Im just kidding. [Edited 12/3/2008 10:16:59 PM]
12/4/2008 5:23:12 AM	advice needed... some of you have the greatest answers
optimystk Fort Mohave, AZ age: 48	Quote from melodiousmyster: Because it's not about sex. I'm not looking to have sex with him. Did you even pay attention to what I was saying? Yes I did I read it very carefully I just translated it into the basic concept and you just confirmed it with the its not about sex thing Realize you asked for input. And I replied based on what I have witnessed over the last 32 years of the mating habits the homosapien I was married at 19 and widowed at 45 so I am not basing my opinion on dating issues, that have left me hurt or Biased! The singular purpose of dating is to find a mate at least for a man, if we find that we are not interested in mating then we avoid the dating! life is only as complicated as we make it jmo
12/4/2008 5:32:21 AM	advice needed... some of you have the greatest answers
steven030463 Warren, OH age: 45	Well talk to him and be honest, tell him how you feel, and if he doesn't want you, I'm a singer. come talk to me, we can sing together. Just trying to be nice, good luck with your find. Your a pretty woman you shouldn't have any problems with it. I'll never understand why guys want to diss beautiful woman, they suck.